I lost her.

* 8 *

I recall she would cry a lot. I made her cry a lot. I felt like it would have just been better to let her go because all I seemed to do was hurt her. She was really good to me but I struggled to treat her the way she wanted. This is why the constant breaking up with her although she didn't accept it.

She would only accept the break up after a while but something would lead me back to reconsidering what I've just done to her. I, regardless of how long it took her to give up, would go back after letting her go and putting her through pain.

She was finding faults in new things like how I came home for the weekend and never told her. I figured I see her a lot and have chances to see her so this wasn't necessary. That was just how I saw it. Point blank.

She started changing physically. Although beautiful, she was different. She had lost weight and looked tinier than before. Her appearance wasn't what it used to be but my girl will always be beautiful regardless.

I felt bad for not telling her I was home so I called her in during recess. I was busy with assignments but it was fine doing them around her. She was quite a motivator if you ask me.
She walked in, asked what I'm up to and kissed my forehead.

I did everything in front of her and shared those moments of excelling with her. I was done with the assignments and man, she looked like a snack.

"Right, now that's done." I stood up and went into the house. Like my own little ducking, she followed.

We went into my bedroom and just started talking. She seemed really casual. She was probably so used to me by now. She leaned against the wall and it was inviting. Was she aware of that?

I leaned to kiss her and put my hands around her small waist.

Yes, her lips were everything.

"You know, sometimes I just want you to come over so I can look at how beautiful you are."
"Oh yeah?" she chuckled in between kisses.
"Yeah" I was breathing heavily.

What I didn't know is that one day of just that pleasure would change our lives forever.