I lost her.

* 22 *

Lizelle and I had decided to take a weekend off to ourselves. Work was hectic. We were fortunate enough because Lizelle was able to get a transfer near to the firm where I was working. Today we were just at a lodge near the river. Tomorrow we were booked in for the Don hotel. We had been dating for over a year now.

I was in the shower thinking about how it's my son's first birthday today. Here I am with another woman and not my son and his mother. I wanted to call them and wish him a happy birthday.

I walked out of the shower and grabbed my phone. I dialed Courtney's number but remembered my phone wasn't on private. So I set it on private. I did this because I wasn't too sure if we would want to speak to me after all this time. She seemed happy.

I changed my settings and then it rung only once. I hung up immediately when Lizelle walked in and when I realized I don't have the guts to hear Courtney's voice again.

Lizelle was still in her silk gown. She came from the kitchen. She gave me a suspicious look and went to get ready for a shower

I got dressed and went out to play squash with some guys I met at the lodge.

"Hey man."
"Hey, you in with me?"
"Yeah sure."

We played for a while and I realized I forgot my phone in the lodge.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked the one guy.
"No, man. I don't even have my phone with me."
"I will be back. Just need to get mine."

I rushed back to get my phone from the lodge. When I walked in I found Lizelle with my phone in her hands. She gave me a very strange look.

"Samuel. Why are you still calling Courtney?"
"I mistakenly dialed her."
"Twice?" she didn't buy my story.
"She's my friend, Lizelle. I don't know what you expect. I haven't heard from her in a while."

Lizelle still didn't know I'm the father of Courtney's baby. I had kept the secret that long from her.

"Anyway, can I have my phone. Please" 
I was annoyed.
"Here. I'm going to play tennis. I will see you later." she said.

I swear some days this relationship was so difficult. She wasn't exactly the girl I had fallen in love with in varsity.