I lost her.

* 60 *

There she was. I didn't quite expect to see her. She was sitting at the Coffee Shop waiting for her cup. I didn't even need to see her face to know it's her. I just knew her. Everything about her. Should I go to her? Should I walk pass her? It makes me nervous, my palms sweating. I took a deep breath. "Let's do this."

"Courtney, Courtney, Courtney Cox!" I called out. She turned to look at who it was. When she saw me, she had a blank stare in her eyes. There was a moment of silence and I saw her. The girl I loved beyond my own logical reason. I saw the girl I tore down and broke into pieces. She was still so beautiful. I saw all the beautiful things about her when she broke the silence.

"It's Jenkins now, hey Sam how are you?" she put up her beautiful smile.
I kind of froze when she said her surname is Jenkins. Was it the obvious she was married? Or was it something else that forced her to change her surname.
"I am fine thanks. It has been a while hasn't it?" I asked.
"Very long while, come sit and have coffee with me." she offered. She's always had he spirit of giving and offering and I wasn't going to say no.
"Sure why not?"

"What have you been up to?" I asked.
"Oh you know me. The boutique is now internationally known. I'm pursuing my second degree and my wedding is coming up."
" I thought you said you're already married." I asked.
"Yes. In the court of law. I haven't had my Western wedding yet...Uhm... You're welcomed to come, really."
My eyes grew round.
"Oh no...I wouldn't want to gate crash."
She put her hand on mine." Sam...it's an invitation, specially from me. Come on."

"Will... My son be there?" I didn't have the guts to ask but I did.
"You mean Mitchell? Yes of course. He's my little best man. He's 6 turning 7 soon."
"Oh...that's wonderful." my heart melted.
"And how's your...daughter doing?" she asked awkwardly.
"Oh Uhm...she's fine...I'm assuming."
"Yeah yeah." she seemed almost uninterested.
"Uhm..yeah not that she's mine but she's okay."

She smiled at me. Almost like she could see that I am broken.

"Well Uhm...how's married life treating you?" she brought it up.
Did she have to? How do I answer her?
"Oh no I'm divorced now, Courntey." I told her.
"That's awful. I'm sorry, Sam. I know you will meet someone good for you."
"Really Courtney?"
"Yeah."
"Because I think I had h--" I stopped. She was good to me.

"So uhm...I should get going." she said awkwardly.
"I will take care of the bill."
"Thanks. You've always been so generous." she said.

As she stood up, I stopped her.
"Courtney, I would like to see him."

She froze...

"Uhm...that won't be as easy as it sounds, Samuel. He needs to decide if he wants to see you." she said.
"I'm begging you, please Court."
"I will try..."

Without saying goodbye, she left me at the coffee store.