I lost her.

* 63*

Today was Courtney's wedding. I woke up feeling sad about it. I took a shower, had my breakfast and groomed myself.

Rejoice would be travelling with me so I was waiting for her. After a couple of minutes she finally arrived.

"Little brother, I'm outside." she said.
"Coming." I responded.

I walked out and took one last look at myself in the mirror. I fixed my suit and bow tie.

"Come, let me fix that." she helped me fix myself up.
"Let's go." she said calmly.

We drove together in a car full of silence and she broke it.

"So..."
"So?"
"You're okay?"
"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"
"No-no. Just asking."

The silence continued

"Stop by her house." I said.
"Huh? Why? Why would you do that?"
"Just...stop..." I stepped out of the car "I want to wish her well."
"You could always do that at the wedding." she said.
"Wow, Rejoice."

I looked outside at the house and spotted the room which she was in. I walked in confidently.

I went upstairs and made it to the room she was in. Her mother was still in a conversation so I waited. I overheard them speak.

"Til death do us part." Mrs. Cox said.
"Really?"
"Yes. What did you think?"
"Is this the man I want to spend my life with?" she asked her mother.
"Think about it. You still have time." Mrs. Cox said.

The last part of their conversation caught my ear. I walked closer to the door when her mother ran and opened the door.

"You can't see her! It's bad luck Sam and James."

I had no idea James was here.
"Not even Mitch is allowed in here." Courtney shouted from the room.

"James."
"Yeah...Sam."

I could feel the tension between us.

"Let me get going."
"It's best." he said.

I left the house and went back to Rejoice.

"How did it go?" she asked.
"Just drive." I said.

We drove to the church. When we walked in ,there were so many faces. More of those I've never seen before.

"Courtney must have made friends while was gone." I said.
"Yup."

We sat down and waited.
James walked in with his best man. He was fixing his suit and waited like any man would for his bride.

After hours of waiting, the aunty played "here comes the bride" melody. We all stood up to look at her. She was probably worried about how she looks and knowing how sensitive she is, I could assume she was hiding tears.

She slowly walked down the aisle. I noticed how James was looking at her because as soon as my eyes focused on her I felt the same way. I wanted to cry. She was so beautiful. Nothing I had imagined. I never knew this side of her.
The preacher shared the word with us. Every word just hit my heart hard.
He finally asked "is there anyone who finds reason for these two to not be married?"

I was about stand up when I made eye contact with Courtney. Her eyes were begging me to not do it. How could she do that? She knows how we feel about each other. Then I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder. That was a warning from my sister. I immediately knew I had to step back and let Courtney be.

They shared vows and rings. James had written a song for her and sung it.

It was time for the part I dreaded to see. It was time for them to kiss and seal their deal.

"Me. Jenkins, you may now kiss the bride."

I watched as he pulled her in close to him and kissed her. It sent shivers down my spine. Everybody cheered for them, including Rejoice. I gave her one look.

"What? It's cute. They are happy." she said to me.

They were officially introduced as a married couple, Mr and Mrs. Jenkins.

The plan for the reception was to walk to the venue. I found that very stylish because of the photos that would come out of this.

"Why didn't I think of this on my wedding?" I asked Rejoice.
"What?"
"walking to the next venue. It's pretty cool." I said.
"I know, right but my weight isn't carrying me."

I chuckled.

We arrived at the reception and I got seated next to my sister at a table with friends I have never seen in my life before. They were cool people, though.

It was the end of the ceremony. A few people were leaving and I was still there.

"Come on, brother we have to leave now." said Rejoice.
"I need to see Mitchell."
"You're not staying behind for Mitchell and I know it." she said.
"Well..." I stood up and went to Courtney.

This was because I had seen her walk alone to the door.

She saw me approaching and stopped to talk to me.

"Sam." she smiled.
"You look...uhm...beautiful."
"thank you." she smiled.

Man, she was so beautiful. The DJ played Bebe Winans' The Dance.

There was a moment of silence between us and I thought this would be the perfect time to ask, regardless of my sister signaling me to go back to my seat.

"May I?" I asked.
"May you?" she asked.
"Have this last dance with you?" I held out my arm for her.
"Sure. Come." she smiled.

There was something about the way she smiled. We swayed on the floor for about four minutes which was too short for me. I wanted this moment to last forever but I was too late. She wasn't mine anymore.  She smelled great. She felt great.

When the song ended she let go and smiled at me. She walked away but turned to give me one look. The most beautiful girl I've seen in my life. To know I had her broke my heart badly.

"Mitch, are you coming with us?" she asked our son. 

He was staying behind so it would be easy for me to bond with him without James in the way. at least I still had my son. I couldn't afford to lose everything.

The couple was ready to leave.

"Goodnight everyone." Courtney waved at everyone who remained.

I watched as she and her husband walked out of the venue to start their new lives.