The Girl In The Night

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

Nate's P.O.V.

My thoughts are consumed with Lexi from the moment she leaves my truck. To be honest, my head is filled with thoughts of Lexi most of the time. If I didn't feel bad enough that I was the cause for her leaving, I feel even worse to think it spurred her into dancing at a strip club. While I know she was responsible for her own actions, I am responsible for helping her to get there. She owns her mistakes and that's a pretty brave thing. Especially in this town. I fully understand why she would never reveal that information to everyone here. I think it's mostly because of her parents; especially her mom. I think Lexi would deal with the gossip, but her momma would die from embarrassment. I guess no father wants that kind of life for his daughter, but the small town mentality would only make things worse for James. I'd like to believe Lex is wrong about her family disowning her, but I'm pretty sure it would actually happen.

Lexi isn't the kind of daughter Elizabeth was hoping for. Don't get me wrong, she loves that girl dearly, but they disagree on pretty much everything. Lexi is not the feminine socialite that Elizabeth was hoping for. If her mom heard what Lexi got up to, I don't think their relationship would be strong enough to handle it. It would destroy the perfect little world Elizabeth likes to live in. She has a very old fashioned, small town way of thinking. Despite our group of friends trying to persuade her otherwise. We threw the Voights a lot of curveballs while we were growing up, but Lexi was never really allowed to do those same things. She'd never had alcohol before she left here, which is why I was so shocked she handles her liquor the way she does. She must have done a lot of drinking in New York.

I can't believe Lexi just stripped down to her underwear in front of me like that! Not that I didn't enjoy the view, but that's beside the point. I guess she doesn't see it as a problem. She probably looks at her body as a thing and not something that should be respected and kept private. I am going to have a hard time keeping my hands to myself and a level head if she's going to behave like that. And those tattoos... phew! I mean, the girl has an awesome body already, but the tattoos make her look even hotter. I'd love to be able to inspect them closer. I'd already seen the ones on her wrist, behind her ear and at the base of her neck. Those are relatively small in comparison to the ones I saw tonight. Obviously, it was only moonlight and she was wearing a sports bra and boy shorts, but I caught a glimpse of one in the middle of her back, right on her spine. She has artwork on her lower ribcage, right under her chest. She also has flowers running along the side of her upper thigh that ends on the side of her rib cage. I try to distract my thoughts from her body and tattoos the best I can.

I have to show her that I'm telling the truth when I said I didn't mean things the way she took them all those years ago. I have never hated that girl. I've hated the fact that she never saw me as anything other than Caleb's friend or one of the guys. I hated that I struggled to keep my cool and control myself around her, but I have never hated her. I have to show her she can trust me so she'll let me be her friend again. I will gain her trust and then we can build some friendship. At the moment, I'd settle for that over what we currently have. If she never sees me as anything other than a friend, then I'll have to learn to live with that. Not having her in my life is way way worse, trust me, I've lived it already.

I can't believe she slept with the men in that club though. I mean, dancing is one thing, but I never thought she'd go that far. My words must have really hurt her for her to go off the rails like she did. I will always feel guilty for that. Indirectly, I made her go through everything she has in the last six years. That's a pretty awful thing to realize. My jealous and protective side takes over and I want to punch anyone who ever laid a hand on Lexi. I don't want any other man to touch her like that ever again. I hate that anyone has even looked at her, let alone touched her. It takes all my self control to not lose my mind thinking about it.