The Girl In The Night

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

Lexi's P.O.V.

Over the next few weeks I try to become the daughter my mom has always wanted me to be. It is draining and it's making me miserable, but my mom is happier. She doesn't seem to be waiting for me to make a mistake so much. I don't know if that's because I'm behaving more accordingly, or if it was something Caleb said. He told me he'd had words with mom, but he didn't go into details. Maybe it's a combination of the two things.

Still, I'm not at all happy. I long for time out in the barn and I try to do fence check every day. It's the time that I've set aside for some peace and solitude. I can try to relax and not worry about doing or saying something wrong all the time. Even if it's only for a short time, it's worth it. I haven't been going to Gruff's because I'm worried about word getting back to my parents. I'm also not in favor of bumping into Matt there. I've successfully managed to avoid him pretty well, and I don't intend to ruin my winning streak now.

I've been speaking to Chris at least twice a week as well. I've even used him as a sounding board for some of the stuff that's happening here. I haven't told him about my mom's desperate need to make me something I'm not, but I have spoken to him about Nate and given him some of the background. I've been limited with what I tell him though because telling him too much allows Chris that little bit further into my life and I'm not quite ready for that. I still hold onto some feelings of distrust and I'm wary of letting people get too close. I'm better with Chris, but I'm probably not as trusting as I should be.

I haven't actively been seeking to be friendly to Nate, but I haven't been rude or blatantly ignoring him either. We exist in the same space now and I'll generally answer if he asks me something.

Because I'm so worried about upsetting my mom, I've been dragged on awful shopping trips into Nashville with Daisy and the baby. They've become almost a weekly occurrence. I still don't even know the baby's name. I am such a terrible person.

I'm on one of these painful trips right now. I don't know why being around Daisy and the baby is so horrific for me. Yes, it brings back memories and things I'd rather not think about, but I should be able to shut that off. It doesn't help that my mom has pretty much adopted that baby as her own grandchild.

My mom coos at the baby and comments, "You and Caleb need to hurry up and give me some grandchildren. I need some more little ones to take care of and spoil."

The morning has pretty much been filled with talk about how much the baby is eating, what she's eating, how she's sleeping, what new sounds and moves she's making and basically anything and everything you could possibly imagine. I'll bet there have been topics you probably can't even imagine as well. My mom throws in her not so subtle hints about my body clock and the fact that I'm still single. I'm twenty-two years old! I don't even have a ticking body clock yet. It's not like I'm running out of time or anything!

I don't say a word. I'm trying to be a good daughter, so I just smile as best I can. I'm sure it looks like a grimace, but it's the trying that counts, right?

We're in some baby store looking for new clothes for this kid, when my mom passes me the child and says, "Alexis, hold Lily for a minute please. I need to use the restroom..."

Lily, that's the baby's name! It would seem like they're going for a flower theme here. I almost roll my eyes at the thought.

My eyes widen, "Where's Daisy?"

I don't want to be left with... Lily. Obviously I can't be trusted with a child, seeing as I killed my own before it was even born. Granted, I was a mess back then, but I don't think I've passed any kind of 'good mom' qualifications recently and I definitely won't be winning any medals any time soon.