bonjour • joshler •

trente-huit

wait to play song

josh was home once more. he was finally home. the bitter fall weather had been pricking his skin, causing him to shuffle on a hoodie that was arguably too big for him. usually he would enjoy slightly colder lonely nights like this. however, on slightly cold lonely nights, he usually doesn't get wasted.

he had sobered up enough to get home, as unsafe as it sounds (don't drink and drive please). after staring at his ceiling for an hour, he wondered if tyler would care what he did. what he let matty do.

don't get any wrong ideas. it was just intense kissing and matty getting handsy, even wasted josh doesn't care for taking advantage of someone.

he was cross legged on his bed, his room only being dimly lit with the soft moon echoing through the bedroom walls. all josh was possibly capable of doing was sitting and staring while he thought of the past. he didn't want to move. he didn't want to speak. he didn't want to breathe. he didn't want to do anything.

except be with tyler.

as if on cue, the bedroom doorknob suddenly creaked clockwise, causing the boy to slightly jump with the sudden solemn noise. he watched as the door opened slowly, a figure quietly stepping through the doorframe. a figure he's come to cherish.

"joshua?"

"oh - hi" he whispered, his voice awakening after hours of being mute.

he watched as tyler swayed awkwardly, the moonlight enhancing his facial features, "are you okay?"

"don't worry about me" the taller boy stated, "are you okay?"

a long pause was heard before the small brunette built the courage to shake his head no. he just wanted josh. he wanted everything to be okay. but he soon knew, everything would not be okay.

tyler stood there, dreading what he was about to be said, "joshua?"

"yeah?" josh had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, he suddenly remembered his mother's remind about tyler this week.

"tomorrow is - it is the six month mark"

"what?"

"you must have been counting the days joshua"

josh breathed as tears pricked his waterline, "n-no why would i-? tomorrow?"

"did you not notice my bags? joshua everything of mine is packed"

he looked around the room, duffle bags were neatly placed in the corner, he didn't even notice. he felt his heart rate increase as his breathing copied. his lungs began to malfunction, breathing at unsteady beats.

"no - tyler no you're kidding"

"it is awful all of this had to happen right before i leave, i am so sorry" by now tyler had moved towards josh, slowly scooting himself on the bed next to him.