You made it all better

Spot at the lake

I have two more hours of school. I can't concentrate, I have the biggest headache. At least none of my classes are with Cas or Stefan. When the last school bell rings, I immediately walk outside and try to spot Damon. After a few minutes I see him getting out of his car and walking towards me.
"Hey."
"Hii."
He opens the car door for me and I get in. I still have mixed feelings about what happened earlier today, but I mostly feel sorry for the way I reacted. I'm not good at saying that, though. Damon gets in and starts driving, we don't talk for a while. I need to break the silence, I can't take it anymore, but I don't want it to be about Deborah right away.
"Where are we going?"
"There's this nice and quiet spot near the lake. I thought it would be a good place to talk."
"Okay."
We drove for a few more minutes and than we arrived. Damon was right, it really is a nice spot. There's a picknick table and Damon brought something to drink and eat.
"I thought you might want something to eat."
"Not really." He looks sad, I feel bad for him.
"But I'd like to have something to drink. I kind of have a headache."
"Oh, yeah sure, here's some water."
"Thankyou."
It's quiet again for a while.
"Elena, I swear Deborah wasn't telling the truth. I don't know how to start, but I'm just going to tell you. You remember when I told you that I didn't want anything in life when mom died and Stefan had to get me out? Well, there was this period that I was on drugs and I was drunk a lot. In that time I also met Deborah. There's a lot of that time that I don't even remember anymore, but I know for sure that I didn't use her. You have to trust me on this."
I feel like I just want to hug him, but I feel like that would be kind of soon since I was this mad a few hours ago.
"But if she stalks you, than why don't you report it to the police?"
"Because... I've been there too, I've been in that exact same place as she is, and this might sound weird, but I just feel bad for her. I want her to come out too, and I don't want the cops to make her life even more miserable. But, if you'd feel safer when I report her, than I'll do it."
I don't know what to say, so I just look at the lake.
"Do you believe me?"
I do. I want to kiss him, but wouldn't I be weak or stupid to believe him just like this? I look at him and meet his beautiful eyes. Whatever. I lay my hands on his face and kiss him, but only short.
"Did you mean what you said this afternoon?"
He looks me in the eyes, I can tell that he did.
"I love you too, Damon."
I feel my stomach, I finally said it. But at the same time I feel that it's not fair, Damon should know about something I have never told anyone.
"But I have to tell you something too. I think it's important for you to know."
"You can tell me everything."
I take a deep breath.
"You know that I was also in a bad place a while ago, right?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I felt really bad about myself at the time. I would've rather died than feel like that all the time. I actually tried, one time."
"You tried what?"
"I tried to die. I tried to kill myself."
"Does anybody know about this?"
"You, now."
"Nobody else?"
"No."
"You talk about it as if it's normal. Elena..."
"I just think I don't really realize what happened exactly. I don't often feel that way anymore. I don't really want to think about it ever again. But that's also the reason that I wanted to be so sure that I didn't say or do anything stupid when you said you met me when I was drunk."
He doesn't say anything, than he leans in and hugs me.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started this conversation."
"Yes. You have to know that you can always tell me everything. Please do that."
His voice sounds broken.
"I will, but I'm okay."
"Promise me."
"I promise."
A tear is strolling down his cheek and I wipe it away. He takes my hand and kisses it.
"Was that everything you wanted to tell me?"
I'm doubting. Should I tell him this? But he just said he wanted me to tell him everything. Okay...
"Yeah, actually. But... I don't know."
I wait for a second.
"I'm a little afraid that it might happen again. I feel like I can't control my feelings like that. It just happens sometimes, but I don't want to feel like that again."
"I'll help you. I'll be there for you, always. I love you, Elena."
I hug him and feel tears coming out of my eyes. I'm so relieved that he knows about this.
"You make me so happy. Thankyou for making me feel this way."
He hugs me thighter and I just feel so safe. There's no better place in the world than in his arms.