You made it all better

Mixed signals

"Hii, Elena. Get in."
I'm at Damon's place, or Stefan's place. I don't know what to call it anymore, but Damon invited me. Anyway, I get in and he walks behind me. I feel it again, that feeling I can't describe.
"You want something to drink?"
"Yeah, some water?"
"I'm not sure if I have that, but I'll check." He laughs, it's a stupid joke but I laugh anyway. We walk to the pool table with our drinks in our hands.
"Where's Stefan?"
"I don't know really. He hasn't been here a lot the last couple of days. I believe he said he was doing something with Cassidy."
"Really? Cassidy didn't tell me."
He shrugs. I just leave it that way, but I don't know to what I can change the subject either, so I just wait until he says something. We start playing pool and Damon starts a conversation.
"So Stefan didn't really tell you much about our family, did he?"
"No, I actually don't know that much about him."
"It's because he doesn't really like talking about our family."
He's quiet for a moment.
"Our mom died when we were very young and our dad is working a lot so he is never really here. Stefan doesn't like bringing that up. He likes to pretend like his life is perfect."
I hit a ball, but it goes all wrong. He laughs and comes behind me to show me how to do it right. I don't know how to react, I feel so much tension. Does he want the same as me? Finally I say.
"You make it easier for me to win."
"Oh, I know you won't."
I laugh.
"Yeah, probably".
I look at him.
"So I get why Stefan doesn't talk about your mom and dad, but why didn't he tell me about you?"
"Well, probably because when he brings me up, people start asking questions about the rest of his family too. He justs wants to avoid that in the first place."
He mumbles something after. I can't really hear what he says. I look at him.
"What was that?"
"Nothing important."
"Important enough to think about."
He's quiet for a moment but I can feel that he wants to say it out loud.
"I think Stefan doesn't bring me up because there's nothing to be proud of when it's about me."
Wow, that's shocking. Does he really feel that way?
"Why's that? Why do you think that?"
"I mean. It's not like I've achieved much."
"But you're his brother, I'm sure he loves you and is proud of you. You take care of him, more than your dad I think?"
I come closer and touch his arm.
He looks at me.
"Elena, I can't do this. I talked to Stefan and he's really upset. I'm his brother. And besides, I'm too old for you. Elena, I'm 23 years old."
Now this messed me up, what were we doing all this time than?
"Do I act like I'm so much younger?"
I ask.
"No. It's just..." He sounds desperate and I can't really tell how he feels.
"What is it?"
"I just can't do this Elena. I'm sorry."
I don't understand any of this, just tell me why you can't. All these mixed signals. I feel angry, and kind of betrayed.
"Are you going to say something else?" I ask, with a tone. But he doesn't say anything. That's it, I gotta get out of here. I walk away and have no idea where I'm going.
"Elena..." He tries. I feel like I have no one left, my best friend doesn't even tell me she's hanging out with Stefan. Stefan doesn't even wanna see me and now Damon is acting like he doesn't want me either. I got to get out for a while. I drive to my house to pick up Masy. Than I drive to a motel just outside of town and book a room, for at least one night. I don't need anyone to find me.