You made it all better

Home again

It's been a week since I woke up. I'm still weak. The hospital had to keep me here for at least one week to run some tests. Only my family is allowed to see me. I'm still trying to adjust, I can see everyone is struggling. Today I'm going home. Dad and Jamillah are here to pick me up and drive me home. I think dad hasn't left my bed for more than 15 minutes since I came back.
We're now in the car, driving home. When we get there I lay myself down on the couch. I haven't seen Cassidy since I woke up, I only saw her face and it was only for a few seconds. I also haven't seen Damon yet. I haven't even heard of him. He must know I'm awake, right?
"Do you want something to drink?" Jamillah asks.
"Some water would be great. Thankyou."
Rose comes to the couch and lays herself down next to me.
"I'm happy you're home again. I missed you."
"I missed you too."
I drink my water and sit down. Everyone is staring at me.
"Hey, Cas asks if it's okay if she and Stefan are coming over tonight, is that okay with you?" Dad asks.
"Yeah, sure." The only thing I can think of is Damon, did he also ask my dad if he could come?
I fall asleep and wake up when Cassidy and Stefan arrive. I notice something about Cassidy, something big. I feel confused and don't know what to say. They hug me and tell me how happy they are that I'm back, but I can feel some tension, like there is something that they're not telling me. Cassidy, Stefan and I go to my room, they asked me if we could talk, just the three of us. I'm assuming they're going to tell me about what I saw and why they act so weird.
"At first, Elena, I'm so happy you're home again." I get annoyed, I've already heard that 1000 times.
"Yeah, I know. You already told me."
She's quiet for a moment, looking a bit shocked.
"Uhmmm, the reason we wanted to talk to you alone was because we have something important to tell you." Stefan says, but than he stops talking. I look at them.
"Yeah, obviously, I noticed that big ball on you." I look at Cassidy.
"Yeah, can't hide that. But there's more."
"So, what is it? Tell me."
"Well, Stefan and I are living together, in our own house."
She's quiet again, for a few seconds.
"I found out I was pregnant. It was an accident, but we're really happy with it. So we decided that it was important to start our own life."
"And that's why you stopped calling me?"
"Yeah. And I'm really sorry about that. We shouldn't have done that."
"No, Cassidy. You shouldn't have. I'm your best friend, you're supposed to tell me things like that. Do you even know how I felt when you stopped calling? I had no friends. I felt miserable. If you would've told me I would've been happy for you. Not that I'm not happy now, I am, I really am happy for you. But I'm just so disappointed that you thought you couldn't tell me."
Cassidy is crying and Stefan looks at the ground.
"We were embarrased." He says.
"Why? This is something beautiful. Your journey is going to be beautiful."
I hug Cassidy.
"I'll be there for you on every step of the way. I forgive you, but don't do it ever again. Let me be part of this journey."
"Of course." She smiles through her tears. After a while we go down for dinner. Jamillah is also here, I'm not finishing this school year, I'm staying home and she's helping. It's nice, but annoying that I can feel her watching me all the time. I feel like I haven't been on my own for one second since I woke up, and it's getting on my nerves. Also now, she's looking at me eating all the time, just let me eat. My dad's the same, and he doesn't stop asking questions. I'm getting so annoyed.
"Guys, can you please just leave me alone for one second? I can take care of myself!"
They all seem shocked, because this came out of nowhere. Jamillah looks me in the eyes.
"Do you even know how that sounds to us? Elena, do you even know how we felt when we heard what you did?"
She sounds desperate and I can feel my eyes watering. I cry.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
My dad walks over to me and so does Jamillah. They hug me.
"Elena, we were so scared."
"I was stupid." I say through my tears.
"But we're here for you. We're going to help you. You'll be fine again."
"We're here for you too, Elena." Cassidy says. I stand up and hug all of them. I'm happy we had this conversation. I'm just still missing something, someone, and I'm not going to wait until he comes to me.
"Stefan?"
"Yes."
"I want to see Damon. Can you bring me to him?"
He looks at my dad, probably wants permission.
"Uhm, sure. I'll grab my keys."
We drive to his place, well, his old place. He doesn't live there anymore. They really need to show me their place soon, but right now I just need to see Damon. We arrive and Stefan opens the door for me.
"Damon?"
He yells.
"What's up, brother?"
He comes downstairs and when he sees me his face changes, like he's scared.
"Okay, I'm going to leave you two alone, Damon, you can bring her home, right?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Okay bye."
Stefan leaves and Damon and I are both standing awkwardly, he's still on the stairs. Than he starts walking down and when he comes closer he leans in and hugs me. It feels so good, I sigh. This is what I needed.
"I wanted to see you." I say.
"I wanted to see you too."
"But you didn't come."
"I was scared."
He strokes my cheek with his thumb and looks into my eyes. I know what he's going to do, but it's not okay. I'm too dangerous for him, so I turn my head and take a seat on the couch. He sits down next to me.
"So, how have you been doing?"
I ask.
"Good, I mean, well... Deborah has dragged me through most. She's a good friend of mine. My job is nice."
I can feel he's not really talking the truth.
"So, Deborah and you spent a lot of time together?"
I look at him.
"Yes, but not the way you think. I can see it in your face. You think we had something more. You shouldn't think that, she's just my friend, that's all, nothing more."
"I just thought... I mean, you must have your needs, right."
"Yes, but not with every random girl that's out there."
"She's not a random girl."
"No, she's my friend. And that's how we treat each other, as friends."
I look at him. He really is the cutest. My feelings are overwhelming me.
"Damon, when Stefan and Cassidy moved in together, why didn't you come to me? You said you had to stay because of Stefan, but than Stefan left himself. Why didn't you come?"
He's quiet for a moment and frowns.
"I thought you didn't want me to come anymore. And when Stefan moved out I realised he didn't need me anymore and that I made the wrong choice. I was embarassed of myself."
I look at him, my stomach feels weird.
"I wrote letters, to you. I never sent them... I would read them in the morning, when I was not drunk anymore and I threw them away. I was scared of not getting an answer."
"What did they say?"
"Just how stupid I was. And that I still loved you and that I would never stop loving you."
He tries to find my eyes, but I can't look at him.
"Damon, you shouldn't love me. We shouldn't be together, I'm dangerous. You've seen it now, when I get hurt, I don't think about anyone else and than I end up hurting them."
"Elena, stop saying that. I love you and there's nothing in te world that can change that. I'm not giving up so easily. I want to be with you. I will make sure you'll never feel that miserable again."
He takes my hand in his and looks at me with desperation. Than he lifts up my chin. He looks at me a few more seconds and than he softly lays his lips on mine, he's probably waiting for me to kiss him back, but I'm not sure if I should. No one should be with someone who's this dangerous as me. What if I hurt him like that again, it's not fair. I pull back and he looks disappointed.
"I'm sorry." I whisper, ashamed of myself. I can feel him staring at me and it makes my heart pound fast. Okay, whatever. I need this. I kiss him and he kisses me back hard. We're both into it and it's getting hot real quick. He carries me to his room and we make love. I hope I'll never have to miss this again.