Steve Rogers Imagines

Restless

Ever since the last mission I couldn't really sleep well, it wasn't a particularly bad mission the team had been through worse but this one just seemed to stick with me more than anything else. I was sat in the kitchen trying to stay awake after another sleepless night, "whoa (Y/N) you look like hell" Clint chuckles as he notices me. "I do?" I ask tiredly not noticing how tired I actually was, "what time did you go to bed last night?" Steve asks looking over at me. "uh not sure I was reading this book too good to put down, my own fault" I lie with a slight laugh, "what book was it?" Steve asks, "uh I can't remember the title exactly, but I'll let you know" I smile. Steve nodded his head returning his attention to the newspaper he had, as I continued to eat I tried to suppress the yawns to avoid further questioning. All day I just wanted to go back to bed but I knew as soon as I did the nightmares would start and that was the last thing I wanted. Later on in the day most of the team were sat together just chatting, "(Y/N) its late and if you want to go to bed you can" Nat says noticing another yawn. "no I'm fine that was the one off, I'm fine" I lie actively trying to be more awake, "I'm getting a drink anyone want one" I say getting up. once I got everyone orders I made my way into the kitchen to make them and myself a coffee, I normally didn't drink coffee but desperate times call for desperate methods. I made my way back in with all the drinks "I thought you didn't drink coffee?" Steve asked me quietly, "no I do, I've been craving it recently" I tell him taking a big sip hiding the slight disgust at the bitter taste. The tiredness was slowly getting to me, I felt like I was doing a good job at hiding it though. "ready for another round" I ask Nat helping her up after managing to pin her, "call it a day" Steve says from across the gym. "but we just started?" Nat says, "(Y/N) you seem too tired to train, it's not safe" Steve says. "Steve I'm fine, I just easily pinned Nat" I tell him, although I was secretly hoping to not have to do anything else today. "well you both have worked hard enough so take a rest day, go relax" Steve offers, "well I'm not going to refuse" Nat says quickly grabbing her bag and leaving. I was just about to leave when Steve stopped me "(Y/N) are you okay?" he asked me, "yeah I'm good why?" I lie, "you just seem a bit off that's all" Steve says. "I'm fine thanks for caring, you're a good friend" I smile heading out of the gym.

I was sat in my room trying to read so I didn't fall asleep, but it was a fight I was losing and soon enough my book had dropped from my hands as I fell asleep. Instantly the nightmares started, and I was just there to watch, I was creeping through the base taking out everyone in my way. As I entered the next room someone jumped on me from behind "got you back, you will comply" the voice sneers. I instantly recognised it, I got captured over a year ago the team were able to rescue me before anything happened but it didn't mean my time there wasn't any less terrifying. I steeled my nerves throwing my head back and kicking the man in the knees "I will never comply, the team rescued me before you could do anything" I tell him holding my gun up at him. "that's what we wanted you to think, how do you know that we didn't change you, let you escape just for an opportunity like this, turn you against your team when they least expect it" the man smirks, my stance falters was what he was saying true? "I just have to say the right words and you're ours" he says taking a bold step forward, I begin to panic there was a chance I could harm the team and I couldn't allow that. He opens his mouth to start the commands, my head hurts "no!" I shout pulling the trigger and shooting him down. Once I knew he was gone I sat down behind some cover and tried to steady my breathing, "what's everyone's status?" I hear Steve say over the comms. I hear everyone else response saying they were clear but I couldn't respond "(Y/N) status?" I hear Steve say, "(Y/N)?" he asks again. I take a deep breath "all clear making my way back now" I tell him standing up slowly. My dream shifted to a new mission I was fighting back to back with Steve when all of a sudden I heard these words being whispered in my ear, I tried to fight it off but before I realised I had grabbed Steve thrown him over my shoulder and pinning him to the floor my gun aimed directly at his heart. "(Y/N) what are you doing?" he asks me stunned, I was fighting it so hard but I couldn't stop myself "you're my mission" I say. I watch as his face fall as he realises what happened "(Y/N) fight it I know you can just look at me you know me" he tells me, I just shake my head as the shot was fired and just as it was I came to. "Steve no, please I'm so sorry please come back" I cry pulling him onto my lap, "(Y/N) what did you do?" tony mutters landing next to us. "it was an accident I didn't mean to" I say through the tears, "she meant it I saw it all, she shot him" Nat says appearing. "(Y/N) step away" tony orders holding his gauntlet up at me, "no please!" I shout.