Steve Rogers Imagines

Tell her I'm Sorry

"mom?" my daughter asks coming into the kitchen, "yeah Sarah?" I ask turning to look at her "um I found this while looking for something else in your room" Sarah says holding up an old envelope. When I see it I take a deep and shaky breath "is it from dad?" she ask holding it gingerly, I can only nod "he wrote it for when you were old enough to understand what happened properly, and I guess now that you 14 he would be okay if you opened it" I explain. She gently opens the envelope careful not to rip it and began reading the letter that was inside, I watch as different emotions show upon her face from happy to sad and almost everything in between. She then pick up the small picture that was attached, it was of her as a baby in Steve's arms. "can you tell me more about him?" she asks tears in her arms "how did he die?" she asks, I nod my head and lead her to the living room so we could sit down.

"Steve, I have something to tell you" I say trying to hide my smile, "okay what is it doll?" he asks turning round to face me "close your eyes and hold out your hands" I instructs him. He raises a brow at me unsure what was happening "just do it please?" I ask, he does as he's told and closes his eyes holding out his hands. I place the little pink stick in his hands, he wraps his fingers around it trying to work out what is was. I watch as a smile grows on his face "can I open my eyes now?" he asks, "sure" I say smiling widely. He opens his eyes and confirms the suspicions that he had "oh (Y/N) that's so great!" he happily exclaims coming over to hug me tightly, "I know you're gonna be a daddy" I smile up at him. He returns the smile placing a happy kiss on my lips "and you're gonna be a mommy" he smiles "can we tell the team?" he asks excitedly, "sure lets go, the little one is going to have the best auntie's and uncles" I smile taking his hand leaving to tell the team the good news.

"yes everything looks good and healthy, would you like to know the sex?" the doctor asks, I look over at Steve who was holding my hand "do you want to know?" I ask him. He looks at me and back at the monitor "sure, if you want to" he smiles, I turn to the doctor and nod "well congratulations you're having a little girl" the doctor smiles "I'll have the picture printed out for you in just a moment" she smiles wiping the cool gel of my stomach. I look at Steve who was smiling proudly "a little girl" he sighs kissing my hand "a little girl, I already have an idea for a name" I tell him. He raises a brow "really what is it?" he asks, "Sarah" I tell him and his smile only widens "really?" he asks and I nod my head "little Sarah it is then" he smiles welling up slightly "Nat's not going to be happy with that" he laughs "oh well, she'll get over it soon enough" I smile.

The team entered the hospital room quietly trying not to wake the small baby, when they see Sarah in my arms smiles break out on all their faces "guys meet Sarah Natasha Rogers" Steve says softly. "you named her after me?" Nat asks quietly trying desperately not to cry, I nod my head "of course after her godmother" I tell her making the tears well and truly fall. "do you want to hold her Nat?" Steve asks, Nat can only nod walking closer and taking the small baby in her arms. Sarah then opens her eyes to show her bright blue eyes just like Steve's "hey there little one" Nat whispers rocking Sarah slightly "I'm your auntie Nat, and all these guys here are you other aunties and uncles but they aren't as cool as me" she say nodding to the team "you have the best parents ever and they will protect you forever, we all will".

I was sat in the living room of the tower playing with Sarah who was now two, she giggles happily as we played with the colourful toys. I look up to see Tony enter the living room stopping abruptly when he saw me and Sarah, "(Y/N), I have to tell you something" he says shakily. "hold on" I tell him picking up Sarah "let me put her in her crib for this" I sigh, Tony watches me go sadly knowing that I could already tell what had happened. When I return I see his sad face again "he didn't make it back did he?" I ask shakily, Tony shakes his head moving over to give me a hug causing me to burst into tears "I' m so sorry (Y/N), we have him in you want to say goodbye" he tells me. I take a deep breath and nod my head, Tony takes my hand and leads me to the infirmary. When we reach the door I see the entire team waiting there, Bucky, Wanda and Nat were in tears while the others were fighting the tears trying to be brave for my sake. "Tony I'm going to go in alone okay?" I tell his quietly "sure kid" he says, I push open the door to see Steve lying down on a bed eyes closed. I slowly make my way over and gingerly touch his arm, I retract slightly at the coldness. I take his hand and kiss it gently "stevie, I know you won't ever hear this but I guess if you looking down on my right now you will so I'll say it anyway" I say shakily "I love you so much, and Sarah does too, if I could have any wish it would be so that you could see her grow up and that she would have her daddy. When she was born Nat told her we would both protect her and I will carry on that promise, I promise you that". I stroke his hand looking up "I wish I could see your bright blue eyes looking back at me right now, because without you I fear that I'll become broken and I just want you to tell me it will be alright and that you'll walk it off" I say tears falling I reach up and cup his cheek "please come back" I cry. I place a shaky kiss on his cold foerhead and brush his hair so it was somewhat styled, I know I'll have to leave him at some point but I can't I couldn't make myself get up and leave him. Eventually I did leave and was embraced my Bucky who began apologising immediately "I'm so sorry (Y/N) if I had been quicker saw the agent and took him out before he shot Steve" he says through the tears. "Bucky it's okay, it's not your fault I don't blame you and neither does Steve" I tell him pulling him into a hug "it felt like it was in slow motion as every bullet hit him" he mutters I stroke his head soothingly "buck it's okay, I know it's hard but we have to be strong the two of us, all of us"

When the news broke about his death many flowers were left at the bottom on the tower, and many tributes made. I was invited to the white house to accept an award in his offer, the president said many kind words about him but I couldn't really concentrate on them. I watched with Sarah in my arms as his coffin was lowered into the ground and it felt like a stab in the heart when they began to shovel in the dirt that would cover him up. I never really got over him, nobody ever does when they lose someone they just learn to go about their lives without them. It took me a long time to be able to start dating again and when Sarah was 9 I did re-marry and I was happy, I had left the team since I couldn't face it if I was to die too. There were photos of Steve around the house as my husband knew how much he means to me and Sarah.

I hold onto Sarah as she cries at the stories I told her, "he's been watching you and he would be so proud of you" I say "he wrote me a letter too telling me about yours, the only thing he asked me to say was that's he's sorry and that he wishes he could see you grow up and walk you down the aisle at your wedding and see you grandchildren and that he will always be there for you"