Put flowers on the desk. (Soonhoon)

Day 33.

I had a bad dream.

Soonyoung left me, it's something cliché to dream about when you're in a relationship, but it felt real.

I woke up nearly crying because I was so scared.

Soonyoung had talked to me all last night and had fell asleep in the chair.

His top half was resting on the bed with his arms folded. He was sleeping.

I sat up but it hurt to move.

I sat crossed legged on the bed.

I took a few big breaths from my breathing mask to numb the pain in my lungs.

I rubbed my eyes and panted. I felt my heart beating fast in my chest and looked over to my heart machine.

It was copying the beats by producing loud beeps that echoed the pitch black room.

I don't like it.

After a while I looked back at Soonyoung. That made me he the strength to ignore the pain automatically.

I gently ran my fingers through his hair, careful not to wake him up, as I leaned back to meet the wall.

I couldn't hold myself up.

The only thing that managed to make me smile was seeing how peaceful he was sleeping.

Then I closed my eyes and tried to breathe.

One, two, three

I counted.

One.. two.. three

I started counting to distract me. It didn't work but it gave me something to do.

It was 4:00 AM when that happened.

I didn't fall back asleep after that.