The Scars That Burn

Chapter 4

The door opens to my apartment and we spill in, tongues and bodies tangled. I kick off my heels as he slides his shoes off, our mouths never leaving each other. We move towards the living room, barely making it to the couch. We release each other and start to discard our clothes. I reach out and start unbuttoning his shirt and I can already feel his hard body beneath. After every button is undone my hands glide over his broad shoulders to remove it completely. I lift his undershirt from the bottom as he raises his hands over his head. My jaw hits the floor along with his shirt. I have been with men who are in shape, most of them in fact, but he is beautiful, as if made specifically by some divine creation. I've never seen so many individual abs. I'm running my hands over them and I don't even realize it. I feel him shudder in pleasure. Just as I'm about to undo his belt my phone buzzes. Dammit. It might be important or some last minute change for tomorrow. 

"Hold on one second, let me just see who is it." He nods, seeming OK with the interruption. Someone understanding and knowing of interruptions. I take the phone out of clutch.

"Who's Gavin?" Shit.

"Just someone I'm seeing." I'm not going to lie to him. 

"I thought you said you weren't seeing anyone." 

"No, I said I'm not seeing anyone of importance."

"If he's not important, then why is he discussing a hotel in Tahoe? Vacations aren't usually spent with people of non-importance." He's picking up his shirts from the ground now. What the hell?

"I'm not even sure we are going on that trip. I see no future with him and I don't want to get his hopes up." I can hear the panic in my voice. 

"He seems to think you are. I don't appreciate being lied to Rebecca. One lie leads to many." No! 

"I did not nor would I ever lie to you. I told you he is not important and that is the truth. He's not what I want."

"Yes, and what is that?" Is he kidding?

"You! I want you! I'm going against my better judgement, risking my career to be with you! Doesn't that show anything?" He pauses. Good, he realizes what I'm risking to be with him.

"Perhaps you were right." I start to feel relief but then I realize what he means as he continues to walk to the door. "We should end this before anything happens further. I should be going. I will see you at the meeting tomorrow." He leaves and the door shutting behind me is loud in the dead silence of my large apartment. What the fuck just happened?

***

I arrived to the office just after 6, not being able to sleep. I am a mess and it is deeply upsetting to me. Of course it's only on the inside, I'm very well put together on the outside, overcompensating probably. I'm also slightly hung over which doesn't help anything. I keep replaying what happened over and over. Why did he get so upset? We talked about how people we date have too high expectations. I thought we were on the same page. He should have no reason to get upset about Gavin. We've went on two dates for Christ sake and one was more of a business meeting than a date! He was the one who kissed me dammit! I wasn't going to take it there but he then he did. Ugh. There's a knock at my office door around 8:45.

"Ms. Johnson? Mr. Anderson is here early and is asking to speak to you privately before the meeting. Should I send him in?" This can't be good. Please don't let him pull the deal. I would have to explain to my partners what happened and I just can't.

"Yes. That's fine." She leaves and a few moments later returns with Johnathan who, although looks put together like myself, has a face that shows lack of sleep and possible hang over too. Thank God for makeup for me. The door closes and we are left staring at each other.