The Scars That Burn

Chapter 22

The cafe we decided to meet at is quaint and quiet. There are only a couple customers left at this time in the day. Johnathan was tied up with some things so it's now almost 2pm. I didn't mind delaying this lunch as long as possible.

I spot Johnathan sitting at a table in the back against the wall, the last table in the row, away from all the others. It seems like he might already know we will need the privacy.

He snaps his head up at me when he hears me approach, giving me a smile but it doesn't reach his eyes. It's laced with sadness. He looks like he hasn't slept either.

"Becca." He stands to greet me and gives me a kiss on my cheek. We sit and I place my purse on the back of the chair.

"Thanks for coming. Sorry I had to push it back. The warehouse property has been somewhat of a nightmare."

I nod. "Of course, it's fine. Do you want to discuss it, I'll be back in on Monday to help."

"No, no it's fine. Your office is on top of it, it's just been a lot to deal with." He looks down and I know he means more than just the warehouse.

"I know. It is. For me too."

He nods, licking his lips. "So you wanna order first before we do this?"

"I'm actually not that hungry to be honest. I had a little bit before I came here I was too hungry."

"It's fine it's my fault. I can just get food after then."

"No, no you eat, it's fine."

"No really it's not a problem."

I snap, mostly at the ridiculousness of how polite we are being. "Johnathan. Just eat. I'll just order a coffee it's not a big deal." He seems taken back by my outburst. "I'm sorry. This is just so..."

"Weird? Awkward?" He chuckles and I do to, the tension breaking slightly.

"Yes. I feel like I don't know how to act right now. I've never done this before."

"Done what? Fight with your boyfriend?"

"Broken up." Johnathan's smile drops and the words hang in the air.

"Break up? Is that what we are doing? You are here to break up?"

I let out a breath. "Yes. No. I don't know. Just a break I guess. I just don't know if I can do this Johnathan. You have trust issues that I just don't think I can handle. My life is too busy and I deal with too many people for you to be jealous all the time. I won't let you dictate who I can and can't speak to simply because of your insecurities. I won't do it and I shouldn't have to. I'm sorry.

I know my words are harsh but I have to be cold. I have to stick to my guns. I know that if I'm not, he will say sweet things and I'll go right back to him. I need time.

"You're right." My eyes widen. I wasn't expecting that reaction.

"What?"

"You are. It's not fair of me to ask that of you and I won't. I know I have some unresolved trust issues that I need to work on and maybe our relationship just isn't one that will allow me to work through them. Maybe you aren't the kind of person who I should be with. I think we both need this time to figure things out."

His words slice through my heart like a knife. I'm not right for him. Because he can't control his jealousy, I'm not good for him. Good or good enough I want to ask but fuck that. I'm damn well good enough.

"I see."

We stare at each other for a few seconds, contemplating our next words when I decide I've heard enough. "Well I'm going to go. If you don't mind I'll go get some things now and I'll let you know when I'm done."