and yes, i know.
i know i am not supposed to live.
i know the way i am supposed to die isn't of old age,
or illness.
i know.
i know i am not supposed to make it.
and yes, i know.
i know i wasn't supposed to make it this far.
i know i am supposed to kill myself.
they are pushing and pushing, trying to make it happen
because for some reason
i am just not supposed to live.
and yes, i know.
i know i am not supposed to ever see the bright lights of las vegas.
and yes, i know.
i know i am not supposed to ever see the world from a new york city rooftop.
and yes, i know.
i know i am not supposed to ever feel the ocean slip between my toes,
as blood slips through my fingers.
and yes, i know.
i know i am supposed to die
but not in the way of "everyone dies one day".
i know.
i know.
and yes, i know.
i know i should've been dead by now.
and yes, i know.
i know i was supposed to have killed myself long ago.
i know i wasn't supposed to make it this far.
i know.
i know.
i know.
i know i am not supposed to experience the stars.
i know i am not supposed to get married.
i know i am not supposed to live to adulthood.
and yes, i swear, i know.
i know.
i know.
i know.
i know i am not supposed to live.
