how do i tell you
that you are carved from obsidian
how do i begin to tell you you cannot break
not because of what you are made of but because you refuse to
how can i tell you no one can outshine the sun
how do i even begin to explain how it was always your face reflected in the mirrors?
how do i tell you i cried every night that you didn't text me
how do i tell you i forgot you had freckles and i forgot you had brown eyes
how do i tell you ive almost forgotten your voice and how do i tell you we're lost in time
we're lost in time.
forever floating in an abyss with nothing to hear but the insufferable tick of each second on the clock
it's silent
how do i tell you i forgot you used to tell me good morning and i forgot you used to tell me goodnight
how do i tell you i forgot what your parents' names were and i forgot—
how do i tell you i forgot your favorite color?
how do i tell you what i forgot if i don't remember what i can't remember
i forgot your favorite color and i forgot your favorite song
i forgot you loved musicals and i forgot your smile would shine like the gold glittered on broadway
how do i tell you
how do i tell you
how do i tell you anything
how do i get my messages to you
how
where
where am i supposed to send this letter
where am i supposed to send this text
i cant wrap my voice up in a box and mail it to you
i cant put our memories into a photo album and give you it for christmas
how do i tell you this family is repulsed by the former word
how do i tell you i can't forget you
how do i explain
that i no longer know who you are
please give me permission to tell my friends i knew you
give me what i need to be able to say i knew you without breaking into tears
i knew you
i knew her
skin constellations and scars and flaws and secrets and sleepovers and wishes and dreams and heartaches and phases and yours and ours and you moved on you moved on you moved on youmovedonyoumovedonyoumovedonyoumovedon
do you remember the songs i used to write?
the pages now stained with ink and smudged into incomprehensible chicken scratch
the songs stopped shining
they reflected off of black mirrors and tinted windows
reflected against the black behind your eyes
how do i tell you i realized i look like you when we met
sparkling eyes freckles and chin-length auburn hair
except the wonder and light is wrenched from my eyes
eyes are the windows to the soul, they say
but my eyes are empty
