this is my heart

the ocean of your blue eyes

i hear chains clinking when i move,
and my wrists and ankles are burned raw.
i wake up every morning wishing i hadn't.
my crying becomes my lullaby,
and my throat is hoarse from screaming.

there is no longer light in my eyes,
there is no longer hope in my heart,
for you burned it out years ago.
and no, it was not a phoenix.
it stayed in ashes, and blew away.

and i say,
"if loving him is what kills me, then let me die."