tbh the only reason i'm alive is because i made a promise to someone. i hate my life and god damn i wish it were different and i don't think i really want to be alive, i don't think i really have a reason to, i don't think, but i made a promise to someone, and breaking it would disrespect their memory so much to me. but one thing that kept me going to school and actually getting out of bed and being productive, is telling myself, "one more day." i told myself that every. single. day. for the
entirety of 2016 and probably at least half of 2017, i was in such a bad place, that was the only thing keeping me alive because of a song i heard. and i didn't realize it was from a song until i heard it by accident later on, and i realized what people meant when they say a person's music saved them. just tell yourself, "one more day". as if after today, there'll be no more trouble in your life. as if after today you will always be happy and your pain will be over. of course it's a lie, things
won't just magically become better like that, but even though it was a lie, it was what kept me alive back then. i would be crying my eyes out while repeating to myself, over and over again, "just one more day, just one more day, just one more day, just one more day." i was lying to myself, but still, it's what kept me alive. and i'm not going to tell you it gets better, i'm not going to tell you your dad will understand one day, that one day they'll just be a rainbow in the sky and the sun will
be shining down forever. that's bullshit. honestly, that's bullshit. that's not real life. in real life, things don't get better. you just get stronger. and i believe you can do that. i've known you for only a few years but it feels so much longer. i know you. you've done it before, you can do it again. i believe in you, i'm proud of how far you've come and i'm just proud of who you are, and i love you. never be sorry for what you had to do to survive. never.
