i've never been good with acceptance
i've never been able to accept a death
i forgot the word existed
i've never understood
how one could accept a death
let go of the person
as if they didn't mean anything
as if they're nothing but seeds carried away on a wind
i don't understand
i've never understood
they say it's all in good graces
that the person would want them to let go
want them to move on
want them to be happy
but
how?
i've never understood how you could just let go of someone
after you watched them slipped through your fingers
slowly, slowly
but surely
how could you just let go
how could you just move on that quick
how could you not fight for them
even after death
even in death
how could you not fight
how could you think
it ends when the hero dies
how could you think
it ends when the last soldier is killed
how could you think
it ends when the last war cry has been called
how could you think
the war ends
when everyone has been killed
how could you think
it is different
than this sadness you hold so dear?
than this sadness you hold in your eyes
nestled into every nook and cranny of your heart?
how could you think it any different?
how could you think death
is any different than this sadness?
they go hand in hand.
when a person ends their life by their own hand
does that mean the battle is over?
does that mean the sadness is gone?
if you answered yes, you are naive.
for when they ended their life
and this, you need to understand
when they ended their life
they did not end the sadness
they only passed it on to someone else
as with the sadness
so with the war
i've just never understood.
how could you dishonor their memory so?
how could you disrespect them in that way
why in the world
do you think theY WOULD WANT THIS
ISN'T THAT THE POINT OF LIVING?
TO NOT BE FORGOTTEN?
ISN'T IT?
WHY DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD WANT YOU TO MOVE ON TO LET GO
WHY?!
THAT IS NOT WANT THEY WANT
DEAR GOD
THat is not
what they would want.
please, please
i'm sorry i misunderstand
i'm sorry i cannot handle
can not grasp
the concept of death
though i have felt it myself
please forgive me
i am sorry for being as naive as you are
or once were
please, i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
JUST DON'T FORGET ME
how could you ever
move on from them?
when they meant so much to you
when they made you laugh when you didn't want to
when they made you smile
even with tears down your face
when they looked into your eyes and saw the pain
and said it didn't matter
because it doesn't define you
how could you ever
forget the kid
who put the stars in the sky?
who hung the moon
who spun the planets
how could you
how could you ever
how could you ever forget
how could you ever forget them?
i've never understood
how can you move on
when memories are clinging to your leg
like little children
how can you let go
when you promised to never drop the end
of that red string?
sure it is knotted and falling and maybe burning
is that fire?
but how
gods be damned
how could ever—
i will never let go
i will never move on
i can't
i won't.
i refuse to—
i'm sorry.
i've never been good with acceptance
it's the friend behind you pushing you to talk to your crush
saying, "go on, go on. it's okay, do it."
and you make that leap of faith
only to realize that you were right
that there was a catch
because you make that leap of faith
and what catches you is not the arms
of a divine being
but the rope around your neck
labeled and scribbled and written all over
with four simple words
let go, move on
you let go
and the rope is the catch
you move on
and the rope is the catch—
i'm sorry.
i'm terrified
i'm fucking terrified
the world could end tomorrow
and i hope it doesn't
god damn
i hope it doesn't
i never thought i would say the words,
i want to live
but it is in these last moments
of these last words
that i'm going to say
i'm going to leave my phone without a password
for maybe just maybe
i will not be forgotten
of course i want you to be happy
but please
just don't forget me.
please
how could you w—
my voice breaks as i say the words,
i've never understood.
and if anyone finds this phone after i die
write these words that i'm about to say
on my tombstone
write them on my tombstone, in the dirt of my grave
let the rain wash it away
but i will still be here
i will still be here.
please, please, let me rest in peace
knowing you wrote these words on my tombstone:
the stories are true. all of them.
for some will think it's poetic
but others will know.
