VMIN/JIKOOK Caught in your lie {COMPLETED}

To Taetae

STOP MOPING AROUND!!

If it's you Tae, you'll probably be at home, in bed, crying.

How do I know? A HUNCH!!

I'm glad I have someone that worries about me so much. But I don't want you to mope around forever. You're stronger than this.

Don't start closing people off again. It was a bunch of work getting you to open up to me so don't put that effort in vain.
Hehe... sorry, I'll stop scolding you.

So you know how I told you I liked Kookie? That was a lie. Err... not a complete lie. It's one of those lies that have a truth hidden beneath it.

I do like Kookie, but I also like you.

From the start I knew the both of you liked me, but I also liked you both back.

I couldn't choose Kookie and leave you alone or vice versa.

So I lied.

I had a sleepover at Kookie's house before and there I told him that I liked you. I guess after then he began acting nicer to you and sort of distancing away from us.

But I also told you that I liked Kookie. I feel like this created an awkward tension between us at times.

I kept thinking that there was a different path I could have taken.

Like what if I straight up confessed to both of you? Would you two go back to fighting each other? Would we all have a polyamorous relationship?

I guess there's no use thinking about it, but it's not bad to wonder.

When I think back about when we first met I could also tell you were similar to me. The faint bruises around your neck told me that you've also gone through pain.

That's where we differed. When I faced pain, I wanted to change myself. But you stopped trusting others, you avoided them and drove them off with harsh words and glares.

That hurt me. As someone who walked a similar path as you, I understood how you felt. And I wanted you to re-evaluate the way you viewed the matter. Because I knew that there was another way, another perspective.

I wanted you to change, I wanted to help you change. So I'm glad I succeeded.

I got to see a side of you no one else knew. You were silly, awkward and had the prettiest boxy smile.

So thank you, for letting me help you. Never stray from that path, stay silly, stay awkward, show your handsome smile that I love so much.

It's strange, you and Kookie are both very different people yet I've fallen for both of you. Kookie is tall and cool... oh! I guess you are too!

But... you're cool in a different way. Like that mysterious type of cool that draws me in. Does that even make sense? It's hard to explain haha...

I'm a bit sad I couldn't finish that book we read in the literature club. Finish it for me okay? If you don't get what I'm implying then I'm telling you to stay the president of the literature club. That is a special place to the both of us.

It's something you wanted for a long time right? That's why you endured an entire year in Grade 11, so you could meet someone that appreciated a story as much as you did. (Was that person me? Hehehe...)

Anyway, as Vice President, I decree that
1. The discussions will be more frequent
and
2. The club will not be closed until Kim Taehyung graduates! (And it'd be great if the 11th graders wanted to continue the club after you're gone.)

It's a good experience, it'll help you grow into being an author.

Author Kim Taehyung... has a nice ring to it! You'll do well Taetae. I believe in you.

Even if you don't believe in yourself, remember that I believe in you!

Have faith in yourself and the people around you.

Cherish your grandparents.

Take care of Kookie for me.

And please... don't forget me.

Sorry, these requests might be a burden to you.

"You're never a burden to me." Taehyung thought.

Thank you for being my best friend. I'd like to be more than friends with you but life is cruel right?

Maybe in our next life we'll be lovers. Then we can hold hands while walking outside and cuddle in front of the fireplace in the winter and shyly kiss as if no one is watching.

Y'know, if you wish for a dream hard enough and do everything within you're ability to make it come true, it will?

I'm wishing for that.

I want a life with you in it.

I'll be a good angel. Then God will make that wish come true.

I love you Kim Taehyung.

Best regards,

Park Jimin