i love you ➝ taejoy/vjoy

四十四

cuarenta y cuatro
+

joy dashed into the hallways in a hurry, not bothering to apologize to people when she bumped into them or wether they think she's crazy. she just wanted to get away from her brother, who was chasing after her. though due to her determination, she hadn't realized she already lost him.

spotting a familiar door as she turned into an empty hallway, joy immediately rushed towards it and flung the door open. then, she ran up the stairs, only to end up in the rooftop. once her eyes saw the blue color of the sky, joy halted into a stop and collapsed onto the ground in a kneeling position due to exhaustion.

"hey!" a voice called out in slight panic. "are you okay?"

joy glanced up from the ground and found the person she last wanted to see; kim taehyung.

with wide eyes, joy backed away and forced herself up from the ground. she stood in front of him but with her head low because she didn't want to see his face at the moment.

the fact that they're no longer in a relationship was still something joy hadn't accepted. it pains her knowing that she can't go to dates like a couple does nor can she hold his huge warm hands anymore. she's been dreading the moment they were going to separate and then it happened. she secretly knew they were going to breakup at some point. but yet, her heart refused to believe that their relationship is gone.

before she knew it, warm tears had formed in her misty eyes and began to roll down her cheeks. taehyung noticed this and he wanted to comfort her. but before he could even reach out his hand to carress her soft silky hair, a realization prevented him to do so.

he's the reason why she's crying. so how could he tell her to not hurt when he's literally the person who's at fault here for making her cry? upon this realization, taehyung withdrew his hand away and could only watch as joy sobbed in silence.

"can't you just stay by my side...?" joy cried with trembling voice. "d-don't leave me...please? i'm begging you... i just can't stand the thought that...i won't be the person who'll be beside you. so please, can't you just stay with me? i don't want anyone else but you..."

joy stared up at him, her eyes brimming with tears and her cheeks flushing red. she looked extremely hurt ─ heartbroken.

"i know i'm being selfish, but i'm only saying this...because i love you, taehyung."

something about the end of her words triggered taehyung. they sounded familiar. as if he's heard them before but can't seem to remember when.

taehyung got too immersed into trying to remember when he heard those words that he completely forgot about joy who still seemed to await his response. but when joy only saw him with a frown on his face as he stared down at the ground, she ended up thinking that he had no intentions of granting her wish.

"i see..." joy chuckled bitterly. "i guess i can't force you to be with me. after all, you don't even love me, right?"

this finally caught taehyung's attention. he glanced up from the ground and looked at joy, but regretted it once his eyes saw the look on her face.

she was smiling. smiling through the pain that seemed to gravely torture her emotionally. the love in her eyes was sincere, yet the look of suffering and rejection appeared to be more visible. at her current state, she looked like someone anyone would want to hug and comfort, and tell her 'it's going to be okay'. however, something told taehyung that he shouldn't ─ like he wasn't allowed to because he was the reason why she's hurting.

taehyung could only watch as joy lowered her head in shame and slowly walk away. he watched as she opened the door to the stairs and disappear into it as it closed behind her.

once she was gone, taehyung simply stood on his spot in silence. his mind still seemed to search for the time when he heard those familiar words from joy.

"because i love you."

they sounded awfully familiar. and taehyung wanted to find out why. he spent a few minutes thinking until his head began to hurt to the point that his legs became weak and he had to back away a few steps.

suddenly, something snapped in his head. he remembers now. he remembers where he heard those words. it was when joy and him started dating. because of those words that escaped joy's mouth from back then, they became a couple. that confession of hers started everything.

before taehyung could even react, more memories came flashing back. everything came back to him ─ all the memories he had with joy. all the efforts she made to improve their relationship and all the times she had to endure the pain because she wanted to stay with him. but in the end, they were all wasted because of him.

then unconsciously, a warm tear fell on his cheek. he only realized how much joy loved him that moment. and he felt sympathetic once he also realized how he treated her and how he used her for his own benefits.

"i'm sorry." he whispered under his breath. "i'm so sorry..."

finally, taehyung remembered joy.

-

a/n: this is like the longest chapter i ever wrote on this book. anyways, it's going to end soon ;)