Spock's Heart (Spock X Reader) (#Wattys2018)

Goodbyes -45-

"I told you what was coming, Y/N."

"No, you didnt. "

The shot rung in your ears for minutes, hours, an eternity. The feeling of Bones holding you back slowly faded from your sense as you opened you tear stricken eyes. The shot faded from existence,  and your vision was filled with white.

What was this? This heaven that you seemed to be stuck in. A white abyss that was there and not at the same time.

Is this death? Was this your death? Was it Spock's?

"I don't know what to say. It's a shame really, if you believe me saying so."

You released your breath by a long exhale as you came to your senses. The white walls seemed more real as you saw the image of Q standing close to you from the front.

Your glassy eyes showed nothing but sadness as Q placed a hand on your cheek that was stained with fresh tears.

Q waved a hand slowly over your face, and you instantly felt all signs of your crying fade away, leaving your dry expression one of despair.

"Don't waste your tears."

You felt as if you were betraying Spock by not crying. By not showing emotion. Emotions that he always found illogical.

Looking up, you stared into Qs eyes.

"Why..? "

Q stayed silent at your question. He had never asked himself that question for the things he did. He always asked....Why not? Why not do this. Why not do that. In the end.... It doesn't effect myself.

Why should I care?

"Y/N, think about it in my point of view. I conducted an experiment. In my studies, you and that Vulcan were nothing more than pawns. You,  in a way,  could say his death didn't matter."

That sentence.. .

His death didn't matter.

That made something in you burn up. Hate, sadness, everything.

In a swift motion, you grabbed Qs hand off of your face and pushed him into the abyss of white that stood below you.

He fell into it as if it were water, but appeared behind you in an instant.

"You forgot haven't you? This is my imagination. I can do anything in here."

Q disappeared into nothing, and was replaced by your friend.

"You could've done better than him anyways, Y/N."

Next to her, your mother materialized.

"Come home. Please. We miss you. Don't you now how dangerous the universe is?"

After her, your new friends. Jim, Bones, Scotty, Chekov.

"Y/N, you still have glitter on your outfit. "

"Hello? Champ? You in there?"

"Lass, you are looking a bit shaken up. "

"The Keptin said I could have the day off. We should go switch out Scotty's Scotch with Wodka."

Everyone began talking at once, an endless noise of jumbled up nothingness.

"Q! Stop!"

Without a thought, every figure vanished into thin air.

"Y/N."

You froze in place. That voice.

Turning around you saw him. The one person who made your life on the Enterprise more amazing than you could've  imagined.

Your tears returned.

"Why? Why did you have to die? "

The figure of Spock didn't answer, for he was not what he seemed to be.

Walking closer, he mimicked your movements. Stepping closer to you without emotion. It was him in every way, but one. He was alive in Qs Imagination.

"Spock... Spock.., " You seemed to choke on your own voice. The tears swelling up.

Q had told you to say goodbye, but you were always too afraid to. Thinking you were going to die, yet somehow, him dying was worse. You never said goodbye.

No matter how unreal this was, you wouldn't have another chance at it.

You stepped further as you wrapped your arms around the waste of the Vulcan. The one you wished was yours.

"Goodbye, Spock. "

You stood their for a near minute before The figure of Spock wrapped its arms around you as well. The feeling of warmth that Spock gave you before returned.

"Thank you." It was Qs voice. "You finally said goodbye, and now.. . You can say Hello. "

The bright white walls of nothingness disappeared and was replaced by metal.  Spock's body turned to Bones body that you held onto as you entered reality once again. Bones was holding you as you slept.

Shifting alerted Bones to your consciousness.

"Champ... "

You looked up to see his tired eyes, that looked as if he had been working nonstop for weeks.

"... Spock.. . "

"Spock, " He repeated.

His tone gave you the chills as you sat up from his embrace.

"W-what happened, " You asked the dreaded question as your voice cracked.

Bones took your hand in a protective way.

"He's... Alive..., but.. "

You refused to get your hopes up as he began to take the conversation on a turn for the worst.

"I was surprised he survived. At a close impact like that.. . It should've been impossible for him to survive, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he didn't hold out much longer."

His words dug into you like a knife to your heart. Every word growing more painful, tears growing larger atop your face.

Bones slung an arm over your shoulders.

"I know.. . I know, Champ. "

"You've earned your reward, Y/N. Now, claim it. " Q whispered into your ear.