CAPTIVITY

17. Little Blue Pills

(Ashley POV)

"Take in a deep breath for me,"

 Doctor Peter Grayson asks as he measured my breathing. I try to, but the cough attack takes effect and I end up doubling over in pain. 

With a concerned look in his eyes, he sits down on the stool in front of the hospital bed where I was sitting. I had to come in for a checkup with him once every two weeks. 

It was getting worse. 

"Has the medicine been helping?" He asks and I nod. 

"Yeah, they take care of the coughing. Let me pretend to be a normal human being for at least a small period of time," I say and he nods. Checking something out on his clipboard.

 "Have you told Jonathan?" He asks next and I solemnly shake my head. Knowing that although he wasn't going to say anything, he was silently judging. 

"As your doctor, I can't tell you what to do Ash. But as your brother in law...you have to..." he says and I wave it off. 

"I know, I know. I have to prepare him, or whatever but let me enjoy these last few..." I stop when I see the look in his eyes.

 "Ashley...It's genetic,"

I stir the small pot of stew on the rainy Sunday afternoon. The rain could be heard as it gently tapped against the windows of my apartment. 

I stir the pot in deep thought, not knowing what to say. 

Or how to bring it up. 

I regret giving him hope for us getting back together because after this appointment I knew I had to push him away again. 

I have to. 

He has to learn how to be without me. 

I didn't realize I was crying until a single tear falls and lands on the edge of the pot. I back away and wipe the tears with my sleeve as I go to grab cheese from the fridge. As I do a knock on the door grabs my attention and I walk over to let my kid in. 

"Papa!" Finley shouts as he hugs my legs. I grab hold of my precious little boy and bring him close. Johnny places Fin's little backpack down by the door before turning to leave. 

"Jonathan wait," I call out and he pauses. Looking back curiously. 

"It's downpouring. Why don't you stay and have dinner with us?" I ask and a wide smile burns on his face.

 "I mean unless you have something better to do," I try to retract my offer after I remember what I should be doing is pushing him away. But he takes it and closes the door behind him. 

"But papa," Finley looks at us confuses and tugs at my shirt. I get down on one knee and he whispers loud enough for the entire house to hear. 

"I thought you hated daddy," He whimpers and I laugh.

 "No. I never said that." I pinch his little cheek, hoping he doesn't continue But of course he just has to defend himself and prove me wrong. 

 "Yes, you did! You say it all the time! Finley's not a liar!" He shouts and I wanted to clap my hand over his mouth to shut him up but Jonathan finds amusement in this as he takes off his shoes. 

"Wow, what lies are you feeding out son?" He smirks as he leans over the counter and I roll my eyes. 

"It's not lies...most of the time."