CAPTIVITY

44. Missing

(Jonathan POV)

"I'm sorry dad...I didn't know," 

AJ murmurs through the tears as we sit in the hospital waiting room awaiting further news on Finley's condition. 

"It's okay AJ, I don't expect you to be up watching him at all hours in the night, calm down." I sigh as I nervously run my fingers through my hair. 

"How can I calm down when this is all my fault! It's all my fault! I did this too-"
"AJ STOP,"

 He finally shuts up and whimpers to himself as I try to bury my head in my hands. I lost one little boy. I can't lose another one. 

I was already losing Ash, and now I would lose Finley too? 

Finley was my last tie to Ash. 

Why was my life so fucking unfair. 

"AJ,"

 I call his name, feeling guilty for yelling at him. He tilts his head up a bit, wiping the tears with the sleeves of his jacket.

 "Have I ever told you...about your brother?" I ask him. He tilts his head a little in confusion. 

"About Finley?" He asks and I shake my head. 

"No, your older brother. Kaleb." As soon as I say his name the dull ache hits my chest but I force it back down.

 "Oh...no, mom never says anything about him and you've only told me he was the reason why you married my mom to begin with instead of Ashley." He says as he clasps his hands together, and tries to sit up in the uncomfortable plastic chair.

 I stay in the same hunched over position and look up to the large screen over the door to the operating room. 

F. Grayson was still in the middle of his operation. 

Finley was okay for the most part, except for the fact he broke his leg and it was now being put back into place. He was found unconscious and we still have no idea as to whether he hit his head or if he's just in shock. 

"Well...when I was your age," 

I look at my son and meet his gaze. 

Holy shit, I thought I was so old back then but looking at my son, I only now come to realize the fact that I was still a child.

 "I took Ashley as my date to prom night and we were together for one night, but the next day I caught the ungrateful little shit cheating on me in a closet with another boy. It's great now, considering I have you and your sisters for it and also the fact I don't think I could take another Finley. But back then it hurt like hell and I ran while Ashley chased after me through the school. Which is when I bumped into your mother. Fast forward a year later,  your older brother came along and I married your mom at seventeen." I tell him and his eyes open wide. 

"I couldn't imagine being married and having a kid right now. I can barely handle a school and a long distance girlfriend." He mutters and I ruffle his hair a bit.

 "You think that's bad? Try also having a trillion dollar company thrown at you like a game of tag and my father shoved me and was like 'well Johnny, you're next.' He was never much of a business guy," I explain and AJ listens intently. 

"You look very similar to your brother. He had these beautiful soft blond baby curls and these bright blueish gray eyes which say the world from a completely different perspective. From the day he was born, you could always tell there were gears turning and ideas forming. Much like your uncle Peter. Those two always had a very close bond. Ashley was close to Kaleb too. Even though when he found out about Kaleb's existence, Ash tried to jump off the Grayson memorial bridge because he loved me but didn't know how to say it. Then he slipped and fell off the bridge and I jumped after him and we both almost drowned. We were in the hospital when your mother came to see us when she was nine months pregnant and we stressed her out so much it induced her to go into labor right then and there. I never lived that down." I laugh half-heartedly while anxiously tapping my foot on the hospital's tiled floor. 

"So, anyway Kaleb was a beautiful little boy and your mother, Ash and I all lived together in the same house. Ash was my best friend back then and just that. Kaleb even called him uncle and that man loved that little boy to death. One day we were at the part. Ash, Kaleb, and I. Ash and I were going on a business trip to London. I was taking the private jet, he was just taking a regular plane cause he's a loser and didn't want to come with me. So while I was arguing with him I pushed Kaleb a little too hard and he hit the sidewalk. I got him home but then he just started getting sick so I told Ash to take the private jet and I would go later and catch up with him because someone needed to be there for that meeting in London while Linda and I took Kaleb to the hospital." 

I pause for a few moments and check the board again. 

My son was still alive and that's all that mattered.

 "Little did I know that would be the day the private jet crashed with Ashley on it and my son was diagnosed with stage three cancer and a massive brain tumor. Kaleb was basically given a death sentence that day, and three days later we held a funeral for Ashley. Really he was kidnapped and held hostage in Egypt but that's another story and he can tell you ALL about it. We wouldn't see him again until you were ten years old," I tell him and sigh. 

How time goes by so fucking fast. 

"Well Kaleb...your brother. He didn't deserve to die. He was beautiful. He was smart. He was my world. And then he died." I close my eyes remembering my last moments with my son, dealing with the loss when I was only 21 years old. I thought I had lost everything and when Kaleb was born we were told your mom couldn't have anymore children. So we were devastated." I continue. 

"But then a few days later, after the death of your brother, we found out about you. And even though I'm thankful, each and every day to have you, Isla, Natia, and Finley. There will always be one person missing-" 

there's a small cough and I look up to see a doctor standing over us.

 "Um Mr. Grayson we need you to come with us, It's about your son." 

**********

Sorry about not being as present in this book as I have in the past with these little notes!

The chapters in this book are a lot longer than any of my previous books and I would hope you haven't noticed. For some reason, I find these emotional chapters need to be longer than 1,000 words and I'm sorry if it seems like they drag on forever. 

Anyway, this book is almost done!  I want to say we'll stop at chapter 50ish but with Ash & Johnny who knows.

R.G