Audrey Hepburn's Pearls: Part I

Chapter 64.1: 1968, Georgina

Chapter 64.1: 1968, Georgina

 

Then morning came.

I watched the sun rise on a new day, the first day of the rest of my life it seemed. It was as if everything that had came before was a dream. And the only person I wanted was the only one I couldn't have.

Was I all alone now? There was no comfort in calling anyone else. I just wanted Frankie. I needed his voice, his assurance, anything at all. But when I thought of even punching in his phone number, a deep static filled my gut so hard it made me dizzy.

I wanted his hand on me. I wanted him to play me Chopin. I wanted him to feed me strawberry milk and make it all better. But I had nothing. Nobody.

I was still here, not moved from the window. My nightgown was still damp, the silk not easy to dry. It was damp all over now from my sweat, from thinking of all of these horrible things. There was no safety. The feeling of complete exposure to the world made my heart beat too fast, too hard. My chest hurt, but there was no way for it to stop.

Would Eddie come back? Where would I go? He said he was watching me, that he'd know. What else did he know? He knew everything.

Today was Thursday. Tonight I would have to go to the club. It was my job. What would they do without me? We had no bartender. I was the closest thing to a bartender we had. Without me, guests would be drinking beer and Blood Marys a la Genesis. Was that okay? My gut was telling me no.

But how could life be going on as usual outside? How could there still be work to go to? And Frankie. He would be at the club. Eddie told me to stay away from him. 

My body started to shake again.

I was sick. I was sick. I'd call in sick. I'd tell Genesis...but without me, the bar...

Oh god, I didn't know... My arms wrapped around myself again as if I were freezing, almost as if I could feel the warm, pressing, too solid metal of Eddie's revolver against my skull. As if it never left. A constant reminder of his terrible words.

Don't you go near him!

But he was my life. My life!

My heart was crumbling. I was a child again. My mother told me there were awful things in the world, but I didn't listen. My father showed me there were awful things in the world, but I didn't see.

I didn't see, see no evil, hear no evil. And now it was all around me and I was drowning. And the only person who could pull me out was now so far away. Impossibly far away.

Frankie...I just needed him...but I was only going in terrified circles.

 

By the afternoon, I'd made up a fettucine but it was getting cold, my fork in the middle as a lone solitary object. It was unappetizing, I could not eat. I felt as if I were wasting away, though it had been less than a day. I'd seen Frankie only last night but it seemed as if it had been ages.

Deep in my thoughts, I didn't immediately hear the phone ringing. It rang again and again, then stopped. 

A few seconds of silence passed by. The sound of a ticking clock.

The burst of ringing caused me to jump. Someone was calling immediately after. Why? Fear filled my heart again, the unknown like a monster around the kitchen corner.

On the last ring, I reached the phone and picked it up cautiously. I didn't have to wait long to know who was on the other end.

"Georgina! Oh god, when you didn't pick up- Don't scare me like that! Bozhe!"