Audrey Hepburn's Pearls: Part I

Chapter 68.1: 1995, Ruiz

Chapter 68.1: 1995, Ruiz

"Here."

"What's this?"

Tony was holding out a piece of notebook paper for me with writing on it. It looked like a list.

"Its a list of the places we applied at today. You know, for your convenience. I wrote down their info, too. Just in case you want to call them and check up on your applications."

"Oh..." I held it over the pizza he had also bought. A big tire wheel of pizza, all for us. It touched me so much. Why was he doing all of this even though Ambrose had stolen his watch? Shouldn't he be mad at me?

"You did a lot today. You should feel proud. We had to have gone to twelve places at least. Its all there on the list."

"When were you writing this stuff down?"

"When we were on the bus and stuff. Its not a big deal. I do it for me all the time. I thought you could use it." He smiled at me shyly, in his way. "Hey, you know, maybe we'll get hired at the same place? That would be cool."

"Yeah. Actually, that would be really cool."

"I don't know about working at Claire's, though. That lady talking to us. She seemed kind of like a dragon, don't you think? Kind of mean?"

A dragon. The image of that old lady breathing fire at us. I was giggling before I realized it. 

"Yay, I got you to smile. Eat something. Its really good."

Eat something. My laugh turned into a sigh as I remembered what he'd told me about Ambrose not eating the pizza he'd ordered. I made an effort to swallow this feeling, because Tony seemed to be making an effort for me. Instead of dwelling on it, I folded the paper he'd given me and put it in my back pocket. Avoiding his face like I'd been doing all day, I took a wedge and put it on my plate. 

"You tired? You look really tired."

Huh? I looked up, finally seeing him. He only looked concerned, not mad at all. But I couldn't shake my expectations. 

"Oh. Yeah, a little bit."

"Oh, okay. Well, I can drop you home after this. I want to go to a couple of more places after that, though. You want me to fill out applications for you, too? I don't think they care." 

What? He'd do that for me? Even though... I stared at my slice of pizza, not hungry at all though I'd only had one bowl of cereal today. 

"Ruiz?"

My heart shuddered. 

"Do you not like mushrooms? I knew I should have asked you first."

"Um, Tony..."

"Hm?" He sounded so unconcerned about anything. Like today was just like any day. How could he be doing that? It felt impossible to me, an impossible feeling. Like such a thing would never come again for me.

"I'm...I'm sorry about your watch."

"Huh?" 

I didn't think he'd heard me. I was speaking too low, too embarrassed. "I'm sorry about your watch."

"Huh? What are you apologizing about that for?" He sounded confused about it, but I felt like he knew what I meant. I knew I would have to say it, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to admit to it. 

"I'm sorry...Ambrose took your watch." Numb feeling overcame my stomach. The piece of pizza on my plate looked like the most unappetizing thing in the world now, because Tony had bought it and I felt so bad. I couldn't take his kindess.

This was met with silence, but I didn't dare look at his face. The hustle and bustle of the restaurant around us was muffled to me somehow. My heart was pounding so bad. 

"Did you see it or something?" 

The only thing I could do was shake my head, but this made my head swim a little bit, dizzy. The blood was flowing hard and thick through my body, too quick. 

"Ruiz, then we don't know he took it. We don't know. It could have been one of my roommates, to be honest. They don't know boundaries."

I breathed in like I'd skinned my knee. "But you said Ambrose was the last one there...and that you had it before...um..." I didn't know what to say, how to complete that sentence. It was too real coming from my own mouth.

"Ruiz."

"Y- yeah..." I swallowed hard.

"You shouldn't be apologizing for him. Its not your fault."

"Yeah, but...he's my..." I couldn't say anything. I wanted to say he was my boyfriend, but the thought... Who was Ambrose now? Was he really the same person? The same person I'd known, fallen in love with even...

"Its not your fault. You shouldn't apologize for his actions. I know Ambrose wouldn't take my watch if he was in his right mind. He was pretty messed up the last time I saw him. He kept talking about...um...cheese. Or something. I don't know. I don't know why he was talking about that. He wasn't himself. You can't apologize for that."

Cheese? What the hell was he talking about? I didn't understand any of this. It just made me too sad, devastated. My stomach became hollow now. The pizza on my plate. There was no way I could eat it now. My appetite was completely gone.

"I'm gonna ask my roommates if they took my watch, okay? Don't worry about it. I really shouldn't have mentioned it. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Okay." I didn't know what else to say. I really didn't.

"Okay? Eat. I can't eat all of this by myself. You gotta help me. I'm gonna get fat."

The last part made me snort in a laugh unexpectedly. But no feeling came back. Still, feeling a major obligation to him, I picked up the pizza slice on my plate and started to eat it. It did taste good, but I didn't feel like I deserved it.

Ambrose. What he did. There was no question in my mind that he'd taken Tony's watch. That it was somewhere, and maybe Ambrose didn't even know where. That there was a major possibility, no...a certainty that Tony would never see his watch again.

And I didn't know how to make up for that. I didn't know what to do. God, Ambrose. What had he done? What had he been thinking? What...

As I chewed, my brain became numb, trying to think of too many wrong, too sad things at once.