Audrey Hepburn's Pearls: Part I

Chapter 87.1: 1968, Georgina

Chapter 87.1: 1968, Georgina

"I keep forgetting you can stand. You never did need the walker, did you?" 

I just smiled at this, too nervous to say much. Frankie's strong hands were holding mine, guiding me out of the chair into the bathroom. The mirror was already steamy in there, the hot water on full blast. 

Here I did venture some words, but they were tipped with nervousness.  "Are you sure the water is going to be fine? Its not going to hurt...it...hurt it..."

"You're so quiet, pretty eyes. What did you say? I can't hear over the water."

I swallowed, staring at the see-through shower curtain. The rushing water was rattling it, stirring something disturbing in me that was powerful and building. But more so, I could feel the weight of my clothes getting heavier with each passing second.

Frankie tapped the top of my hand, and I looked at his face. He was smiling at me now, which should have eased my tensions but it did no such thing. Instead, I gripped his hands harder, showing him my nerves.

"What's wrong? Does it hurt? You could sit down and I could take off your clothes that way if it hurts too bad. Then I could definitely carry you over. Its not a problem. The doctor just said you should start taking regular showers around now. No more sponge baths. So we have to do it, but I'll be right here with you." He gave me a searching, kind look. His lips curled a little at the edges, hopeful.

"I think... I just want to know..." My eyes went past my toes and to the white tiles now. Avoiding what my question was. I sighed deeply, knowing full well that I shouldn't be scared of him at least. I could ask him these questions. My muddied, scared brain was making me forget who he was, really. This man. I was getting married...to this man. But there was no believing it. Not yet. But that didn't change the fact...that we knew each other as good as any engaged couple. 

"Yeah? We literally have all afternoon. Take as much time as you want."

I pressed my lips together, unsure still. This question. I'd had this question at my lips ever since he came in and announced our mission for the afternoon. He'd said he'd be helping me take my first shower since what had happened. 

My last shower. I remembered that shower. My old apartment's antique lion footed tub, the long white curtain on the golden ring up top. The same one we'd shared so many times, many intimate and shy moments. Sad moments, happy moments. But the last moment in that tub...the IV in my arm. I'd taken my last shower before I'd gone under the knife in that tub, more nervous than I was now. So nervous I'd been shaking like a leaf and losing control of my knees. Feeling like I'd had no choice in the matter, even though I was the one... I had been the one to ask Luciano to perform that procedure...

"Pretty eyes? You okay?" 

Suddenly my body was so warm. Air flooded in deep, my body reacting to Frankie's hug on its own, causing me to be able to think. This warmth, causing me to better trust. 

"I'm worried."

"Its going to be okay. What are you worried about?"

He was pressed to me, every inch of him. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt, still formal but exposing his arms. These arms were around my own, which were clothed in sheer light blue sleeves. This dress was a new one, from Paulie. He'd surprised me with it this morning, saying I looked best in blue. Everybody always thought that. He'd dressed me this morning, and as always I'd had my eyes closed. 

As Paulie had removed and changed my underwear this morning, I'd had my eyes closed, not able to bear to see...terror like no terror I'd ever known. This was every morning. He never said a word about it, but it was so awkward. I didn't want to know what he was thinking, what he saw when he changed my underwear.