Audrey Hepburn's Pearls: Part I

Chapter 81.1: 1995, Georgina

Chapter 81.1: 1995, Georgina 

Out in the kitchen, I could hear Cha Cha speaking to Ruiz in a hushed way but clearly I could hear what was being said. They were talking about me again, as if I weren't in the next room. They did this sometimes I noticed, speaking like the nurses used to in the hospital about the patients like we couldn't hear them. Though, I didn't blame Cha Cha and Ruiz like I did the nurses. I knew they didn't think I was stupid, just maybe not within earshot? Anyway, they weren't saying mean things. It sounded like they were doing some schedule figuring.

Last night when Cha Cha came home, she'd told me I had a speech therapy appointment today which made me anxious but she calmed me down. She'd explained gently to me what was going to happen today, step by step. How the speech therapist was a nice woman, a medical professional who would take great care to make me feel comfortable with her, too. 

"She's going to check to see what the basis of your speech difficulty is," Cha Cha had explained comfortingly to me on her bed with her arm around my back, pressing me close to her body. "She's coming here, probably will want to see you at the kitchen table. Its all familiar, nothing scary. I spoke to her on the phone and she could understand what I'm saying so I bet she can understand you, too!" She'd laughed then, and I tried to laugh. It was true, that though Cha Cha had greatly improved her accent since I'd known her so long ago, it was still hard for somebody not used to her to understand her sometimes.

"Anyway," she went on, smiling at me, "she's a professional so she'll help you. We're going to figure out what is wrong and you'll get better. She can make you better. You'll be speaking just fine in no time! I'll be there with you, too. There's nothing to be scared of, I promise."

I'd stared down at my knees then, seeing my light blue satin nightgown. I'd observed my bright red toenails, painted by Ruiz that evening. Her unsure face bloomed before my eyes, almost as a dream. Ruiz. She had such difficulty understanding me. It wasn't her fault, she was scared. I could see it all over her face. It made me want to cry, made me want to see this speech therapist for her. To get better, to speak to her again. 

I'd nodded then, still staring at my toenails. But then I squeezed Cha Cha's hand, realizing something as I saw the red nailpolish there. 

"Hmm?" she'd asked, staring at me with a kind face. Her face was so close to mine, and I blushed. 

"What about the transgender thing," I asked, not even thinking about it. But then I pressed my lips together, realizing how hard to understand that must have sounded. I blushed harder. I must have been as red as my toenails. How could I even begin to make that sentence simple? The word, transgender. That was not a simple word to get across, using the word or not using the word.

"Don't you worry about a thing. I don't think Derek would have recommended her if she had a problem with people like us." Cha Cha squeezed my hand back, flooding my heart with a feeling like cool relaxing water which pumped throughout my body. Such relief. How had she understood?

I'd just nodded instead, perhaps a desperate nod. Trying not to show her how much her understanding meant to me, understanding my fears. How she must have truly understood, from what she'd just said to me. 

Now in the living room, it was about 10 AM according to the VCR under the TV. She and Ruiz had been talking in the kitchen for about thirty minutes. It was hard to hear what Ruiz was saying over the TV because her voice was always so hesitant and shy, quiet. But Cha Cha's voice was confident and loud just like all the time. 

"I'm really sorry, I can't go with you today. I have to stay and be here for Georgina. You know how she is with meeting people. Imagine if she met the speech therapist by herself? ...I know. Oh, I know... But I'll pick you up at around 3PM. That's two hours after the group therapy begins, right? Do you think that will be enough time? ...Nothing's going to go wrong, don't be silly. You can call me, too, but it will still take me an hour to get there like on the ride up. You can hang out with Ambrose until I get there, though. Imagine if nothing goes wrong? Won't it be nice to hang out with him? I saw you two, making up. I bet you could hold his hand. There's that smile. I knew it. Okay, let's go. I have to be back by noon."