Chapter 99.1: 1995, Ruiz

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Chapter 99.1: 1995, Ruiz

It was cold in the cafeteria. The air conditioning must have been on too high. I would have been shivering if not for the smiling boy next to me, pressed to me, holding me to his side like a precious thing.

"I told Yanda. I said, 'if I have to watch one more episode of Keeping Up Appearances I'm going to go insane but guess what he told me?"

"Hmm?" I looked up at his face. His hazel flecked eyes seemed to be ablaze in excitement. It startled me.

"He told me everybody likes it. That its educational. What's educational about British television? Is it more educational than Melrose Place?"

I sighed, the mention of Melrose Place setting me off. I'd been holding it in since I got here, but I couldn't anymore. The flood of nameless feelings went from behind my heart like a dam breaking, and I closed my eyes.

"I miss watching Melrose Place with you, Ambrose."

I felt the warmth of his face next to my cheek. Skin met skin. He was pressing his cheek to mine. My heart was aching.

"I miss watching it with you, too, Ruiz. So much. When was the last time we watched it?"

"I don't know." I really didn't. He hadn't been around enough, and what had I been doing? It didn't feel important anymore.

"Well, when I get out of here we're going to watch it. We'll make some popcorn."

"Okay."

What had I been about to say to him? There was something important that I'd meant to talk about before the group therapy but it didn't seem important now. He was here now. The moment I'd seen his smile when the doors opened I'd forgotten anything else. He'd taken my hand and led me to the cafeteria, and we'd been here ever since.

There was something about Miss Cha Cha's school. Something about ballet. Oh yeah.

"Oh yeah, Ambrose. You'll never believe it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You know Mr. Tango's girlfriend? That ballerina?"

"Uh huh?" Ambrose's face went up into a smile. I never wanted to stop looking at it. He looked so eager. Like a puppy staring at a ball that I was about to throw.

"They broke up. She went to Germany to join some ballet company or something."

"No way!" He was grinning. I was grinning.

"Yeah, totally."

"Wow, that's better than Melrose Place, Ruiz! What happened?!"

I started laughing. He took my hand and the warm feeling went up my arm. "I just heard Miss Cha Cha talking on the phone before work. Lots of changes are happening in the studio. I don't know a lot, but."

"Oh, that's plenty. I wish she were here, I'd totally ask her about everything. She can't keep stuff from me!" Puppy tail wagging in full effect. I missed this. I'd wanted this when Miss Cha Cha had been on the phone. Now I had it, and I was overwhelmed.

Suddenly he was hugging me and my breath hitched. How I'd missed this. His chin went over my shoulder and I pressed my face against his neck. I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes. I didn't have to see the cafeteria. I didn't want to know where we were.

He sighed, a whisper of air to his voice rushing past my ear. Such a contented sound. Its all I wanted in the world.

But too soon I was aware that people around us were moving. Papers were rustling, metal chairs shrieking against the cheap tile floor. Our shared long bench was moving this way and that as weight was displaced, people getting up. Slowly, I separated from our embrace and looked around even though I didn't want to.

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