Audrey Hepburn's Pearls: Part I

Chapter 66.1: 1995, Ruiz

Chapter 66.1: 1995, Ruiz

"Your friend called me."

I twisted the phone cord around my finger nervously, trying to figure out something to say. Instead, he went on.

"Is that why you weren't at Pink? Did something happen? He sounded really panicked, asking about you."

"He?" I asked. I was confused.

"Um...your friend. He lives at the same address as you. I called back yesterday, and he said you shared the same phone number as him?"

Oh. He was talking about Miss Cha Cha. Had to be. My hand gripped the phone in embarrassment for his confusion. It was just like with my Mama. "No, that's Miss Cha Cha. Am...Ambrose's drag mother."

He gasped. "That was Miss Cha Cha? Ambrose talked about her before. She's a legend!"

"Um, yeah. She's a woman, though. So..."

"Oh! Oh, okay. My mistake."

"Yeah."

"Um, so, what happened? Why weren't you at Pink? Veronixxxa kept looking at the door for you two. Ambrose kept talking about the outfits he was making whenever he came over, so she was really excited. She wanted to show you her outfit, too. She was a pink Playboy bunny, but of course she was."

I could imagine this instantly. Long, flowing blonde hair and her perfect body in that outfit. I bet she drove everyone wild. But then his other words hit me.

Ambrose kept talking about the outfits he was making whenever he came over.

"Um...did Ambrose come over to your place a lot?" 

"Yeah, he hung out with us sometimes. Veronixxxa came over, too. We played some video games, hung out. Ate some food. It would have been great if you were over, too. We have two controllers for the Sega? It would have been great to have an even number of players. It would have been awesome. But...then things got weird."

Weird? I almost didn't know what to say to that. I knew exactly what he was talking about yet not. "Weird?" I asked, repeating after him like I didn't know anything. I could have won an award for acting.

"Yeah...like, he'd come over and be acting really strange. Veronixxa wouldn't have any of it. Whenever he came over like that she'd get this weird look on her face and take her coat and go. He'd get really aggressive with me in the video games and sometimes he'd full out start fighting me on the couch and I'd be like, 'what the hell'. You know how Ambrose is kind of a weakling so I could take him, but come on. He wouldn't eat anything either. I'd order a pizza and I'd be the only one eating and he'd be so focused on the game he wouldn't be eating anything. I'd be like, 'yo, I ordered a pizza, I can't eat this all my self' but he wouldn't give up on the game. I'd be like, 'its just Road Rash, man' but he wouldn't listen."

Oh my god. I didn't want to hear this. No, I didn't want to hear this. I wanted him to stop. But I had no words. I realized my mouth was hanging open but I had no energy to close it.

"I don't know. He kind of changed. Like at Tunnel. At Tunnel he'd be acting strange like that and it was like he didn't even know me. I didn't want to talk to him about it, but I think there's something going on. Veronixxxa got pretty worried after Pink and was like, 'this is wrong, why aren't they here?' and she got this blank look on her face like she was thinking really hard, you know how she is, but then she got all sad and would not cheer up."

I think there's something going on.

My eyes welled with tears. "Yeah, Tony..." I sighed.

"Veronixxxa told me, now please don't get alarmed because we don't know, that people on drugs act like how Ambrose acts. There's a couple of ones she was talking about, but I don't think he'd do anything like that. But then I got home the night of Pink and I was taking my stuff off, and um...Ruiz...I can't say for sure, but um..."

"Huh?" I'd been lost in my own little world for a few seconds thinking about what he'd said, and missed his words. 

"Um...I got home and I realized my watch is missing. I keep it in my jewelry box. Its a fake Rolex, but I liked it...but its missing... I never take it out of its box, and... Well...the last person here was Ambrose. I know I had it before he came over."

What... I was completely speechless. There were no words to say. It wasn't possible.

"I need that watch back. Jamal gave it to me."

Jamal. My eyes downcast to my bedroom floor. Tony's ex-boyfriend. Of course he'd need that watch back. But what was I supposed to do? Where could that watch even be? Of course he was hinting at Ambrose taking it, doing something with it. And...

It was too painful. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't even think about it.

"I'm sorry, Tony."

"Oh...yeah."

An awkward pause ensued. I didn't know what to say. The things he was telling me. I knew the answers. I knew, but my tongue felt like it was frozen solid in my mouth. Part of me was panicking. It did not know what to do in this situation. I'd never dealt with something remotely like this. What was I supposed to say?

Yes, Ambrose stole your watch. Yes, Ambrose is on drugs. Yes, your watch is probably long gone. 

No. No, no, no.

Tears started falling down from my eyes in long streams. My lower lip stuck out in my silence. 

So I just went with what my heart was telling me to do. 

"Tony, u-um..."

"Yeah?" He didn't sound mad at me. I was expecting him to be mad at me.

"The other night...um...the other night..."

"Mhm..."

"The other night...Ambrose told me he's a coke addict."

This was met with complete dead silence. I didn't expect anything different. I anticipated the phone to hang up. I was ready. Tony let out a long breath, making the phone sound off. My hand gripped it harder in my embarrassment. My cheeks were so hot. But he spoke.

"God, Ruiz, I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry."

I sniffled and my eyes overflowed so hard they burned. 

"God...I mean...wh-...I never..." He went on. "Like, I knew something was going on with him, but I didn't want to think... I didn't...goddammit...goddammit... Damn, damn, damn..."

"I'm- I'm so-rry...T-Tony..." I sobbed into the phone. 

"Oh god, no, Ruiz. Why are you apologizing?"

"I'm so-rry..."

"Don't do that. Its not your fault."

"I'm sorryyy..."

"Goddammit, um...look...where do you live? Miss Cha Cha said you're not living there anymore. Can I take you out? Something? Goddammit, I feel so bad... I want to talk about this with you. I just...I don't know. I really don't."

"I- I c-can't go out...I gotta..." The tears coursed harder, thinking about what my mom had ordered me to do. "I gotta- gotta look for a job today and- I- I'm sorryyy..."

"Then...wait, I know. Let me come with you to look for a job. I know everybody."

"Okayyy..."

"Tell me your address."

"Okayyy..."

After a few minutes, I hung up the phone and sat silently on my bed letting the tears run their course. My hands folded on themselves, twisting this way and that in my emotions. For some reason, I felt better having talked to him, even though I'd learned all of those...those terrible things. Somehow, it didn't exactly feel good, because that definitely wasn't the right word, but with Tony knowing... 

I stared straight in front of me at the white wall opposite. I stared for a long time not moving, trying to make sense of this feeling overwhelming me.