Audrey Hepburn's Pearls: Part I

Chapter 71.1: 1995, Ruiz

Chapter 71.1: 1995, Ruiz

Early morning. It was raining a lot more now, getting more humid. It was nearly April after all. Often, Mama didn't want to walk Zorro, I had to. I couldn't help but feel depressed out there in the grey rain, waiting for Zorro to do her business as she sniffed everything she could see.

In the rain, it was too easy to think about Ambrose. What he was doing, everything about him. I didn't want to think about him, but I did as well. And these were where my depressed feelings mounted into a fury that felt like too much damn pain.

Ambrose. What was he doing right now? Where was he, was he okay? These basic questions were what were driving me insane. 

Even though you don't want to, you still love the person who betrayed you. You can't stop it. I was learning this quickly. It was like when Zorro bit me sometimes. Ambrose had bitten me, but I couldn't stop loving him.

It was just the sort of thing I'd go to Georgina for, but Georgina was... So even more so when I had these betrayed feelings I felt awful because I was rudely reminded that Georgina wasn't there anymore. Instead, she was with Miss Cha Cha, at Ambrose's house, a place I couldn't go and couldn't face. But I couldn't face her anyway. 

This rainy day, Zorro was out in the rain again kicking up at the little grassy bit a ways down from our door. I didn't want to pick up her mess, it was insult to injury. But I did anyway, leaning down with the bag. I threw it in the waste bin on the grassy bit, glad it was there.

Walking back home, I realized that at least picking up her mess made me think of something else than Ambrose and Georgina. And with a sinking feeling in my stomach I realized I'd rather think about her mess than my own.

The keys rattled onto the table as I set them down. I leaned down to undo the leash from Zorro's collar and once done, Zorro immediately ran to her water dish. Watching her drink messily, I sighed. I was so tired. Just so tired of it all.

Mama came out of her bedroom, putting on a red sweater. I never thought red looked good on her, but I didn't dare tell her. I sighed again, thinking about how I could tell Miss Cha Cha such things. But every color looked good on Miss Cha Cha. She was just that way, perfect in everything-

"I ordered Chinese twenty minutes ago. I'm going to pick it up, but I wanted to ask you something first."

Being polite was not Mama's strong suit, so it startled me a little bit. I hung the leash up on a coat hook next to the door. "Yes, Mama?" I asked, not looking her in the face. My mind was still on Miss Cha Cha despite. She was just there. I didn't know why. Maybe my heart missed her too much.

"Did you hear back from any jobs today? I want to know, Ruiz. The rent is due on April 1st. That's only two weeks away."

"Ten days."

Mama stopped speaking. I dared to look up at her and she was staring at me. It made me shudder in my dirty sneakers, invisible to her.

"Yes, ten days. I guess. But its due. I need you to have a job by then." She took the keys off the table in front of me with a scrape on the wood. 

I swallowed, but this only reminded me of Ambrose. His habit of doing that. His habit... I looked at the floor, trying to avoid everything, especially my Mama's gaze. I wanted to tell her something, too. How I couldn't guarantee that I'd have a job in ten days. How the world didn't work like that, and how sometimes you don't get what you wanted. Like how...Ambrose and me... But I knew better than to talk back.