It hurts to know that Gene has forgotten some of her memories, but it hurts more to know she just forgot about me and the part of her life she spent with me.
Napaupo ako sa sahig ng ospital saka napaiyak ng tahimik. Nasa labas ako ng kwarto where Gene was confined. Sabi ng doktor na sumuri kay Gene, may selective amnesia daw ito at walang specific date kung kelan siya gagaling.
"Hey."
Napatingin ako sa taong nakatayo sa aking harapan. I wiped my tears away as I realized who that person is.
"Are you okay?"
I averted my eyes to another direction. Naninibago akong ganito ang pakikitungo sa akin ni Vannah ngayon. It's been so long since the last time she asked me if I'm okay. Nevertheless, there's a hint of sincerity on her voice.
I looked at the door of the hospital room where Gene is. Nasa loob ng kwarto ang kanyang pamilya including Sophie and I feel so out of place that's why I decided to go out.
She can't even remember me and I feel like I don't belong there.
Tiningala ko si Vannah saka walang emosyong sumagot. "What are you doing here?"
Vannah looked at the door of Gene's hospital room. She then let out a sigh and sat beside me.
"I've heard about what happened to Gene so I rushed here. I saw what happened earlier."
I didn't utter a word. I just let her say anything she wants while trying my best to fight my urge to cry.
"As I watched how Tita Luisa treated you earlier, I realized I've been such an asshole. I thought that if you'll be gone, I can have Gene for myself. I did everything just to get the approval of her family. I admit, they were nice to me. But then, I never felt like Tita Luisa really wants me to be with her niece. Until I saw them, with Sophie. I guess, that's it. I'm so stupid."
I looked at Vannah but I didn't respond. Hindi ko maintindihan kung anong ibig niyang sabihin but I can sense her sorrow behind her words.
"I'm sorry, Sab. I'm sorry for being a stupid, pathetic bestfriend. I just realized that I can never have her. Hindi ko naman maramdaman na gusto talaga ako ng pamilya niya para sa kanya. Mas lalong hindi ko maramdaman that Gene wants me as a woman, not just a friend."
Vannah smiled while looking at the wall in front of her. Pareho kaming nakatingin sa kawalan.
"Since I can't have her, I guess Gene deserves to be with the woman she loves."
Napatingin si Vannah sa akin. She's smilling but her tears were flowing down her cheeks.
It felt nostalgic. Para akong dinala sa nakaraan kung saan may problema ako at nasa tabi ko si Vannah para damayan ako.
"I'm not the one for her, Vannah. We both know that."
Vannah sat beside me. Nakakatawa mang isipin pero mukha kaming namatayan ng kamag-anak sa posisyon naming dalawa ngayon.
"Gene's the only one to tell who's the one for her. She's the only one who can tell us whom she really loves."
A tear felt from my eyes upon hearing what she said. When I've heard about Gene's accident, I thought I'm going to lose everything. Because she's my everything.
I immediately rushed to the hospital without thinking. I didn't care about Mama Luisa or the situation we're in right now. All I know was I need to be with her and tell her how much I love her, before I lose the chance to do that.
Then she forgot about me.
"I'm sorry, bes. I'm sorry if it's late for me to say this. I am very sorry."
