He still stood there. Eyes locked unto mine. I wiped my tears, again.
"Because I love her. So much I want her to fight for herself. Her father deserved justice. Masakit. Oo masakit, Elvis. Pero alam kong wala na akong ibang magagawa pa. Alam kong wala na kaming ibang magagawa pa. Our door's open, everyday. We're just waiting for the police to send us an arrest want, literally. That's the right thing to happen. Marami na akong maling nagawa sa buhay ko. Marami na kaming kasalanan ni Daddy. But this one's different. It's life, Elvis. Kinuha niya ang buhay ng ama ni Gene. And I know Dad wants this, too."
Lumambot ang ekspresyon ng mukha ni Elvis. Nakatayo lang ito at nakatingin sa akin.
"Mahal ko siya, Elvis. Kaya sinamantala ko ang pagkakataong ito na nakalimutan niya ako at lahat ng alaala niya tungkol sa akin. Kasi dito ko lang pwedeng iparamdam sa kanya na mahal ko siya. Na kahit kailan, hindi ako tumigil sa pagmamahal sa kanya."
Tahimik pa rin si Elvis. The things I'm saying right now, no one has ever heard about this. Not even my parents. They didn't question me and my decisions. They know I love Gene. Pero hindi sila nagtanong kung bakit mas pinili kong lumayo sa kanya. I guess, my parents already knew the answer.
"But I want her to love herself. How can I stay with someone who's still grieving for his father's death? For his father's justice? I've heard from her Mama Luisa, from her other relatives and friends, but never from her. She never told me that she knows the truth. Wala akong narinig sa kanya kahit ano. And the people around us? People will point fingers on her once she'll choose to stay with me. I don't want that to happen. Growing up without a mother, getting up on stage to claim an award without a father only to find out he's dead, that's enough suffering. No, that's too much. It breaks me. It does. Always."
Elvis crossed the distance between us and gave me a hug. There, I let it all. Nasabi ko na lahat. Nagawa ko na. Ano pa bang dapat kong gawin? I let out a sob on Elvis' arms.
Funny how the man I thought I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, is lending me his shoulders because I'm crying for a woman I never thought I'll ever love but I did. More than I love myself.
Sinamahan ko si Elvis palabas. He's done me good today. I felt relieved, at least. Nagawa kong pakawalan lahat ng bigat na dinadala ko sa aking dibdib.
I saw a boquet of flowers in my secretary's table. My secretary's out for today. May sakit daw kasi kaya nagpaalam na hindi papasok.
Napatingin ako kay Elvis. He got the flowers and read the note inserted between the flowers. He then threw me a look and gave me the flowers.
Stay with me.
The note says. Napatingin ako kay Elvis. I guess I don't need to ask him about this. Parang alam ko na kung kanino ito galing.
"Do you think she stopped by?"
I looked at Elvis.
"I don't think she did. We're not yet on good terms after yesterday. She's not responding to my messages."
I shrugged off my shoulders. I honestly think she didn't.
Or so I thought. I was about to enter our house when I saw Gene's car parked outside. My forehead creased.
"Oh, hi sweety!"
It was Mom, with a tray on her hand. She's all smiles, too.
"Mom, is Gene here?"
"Oh, yeah. Nasa garden siya sa likod ng bahay. Kasama ang Dad mo. They're playing chess."
I didn't wait for her to say more. Mabilis akong tumakbo papuntang garden. Gene's not responding to my messages and then I'll find out she's home, with my Dad. What am I supposed to think?
I went to the garden. I can hear their laughters from here. Dad seemed to be very happy. I don't know how to play chess, and so does Mom, and he finally got to play it with Gene. If we're in different situation, this would be fantastic.
"Dad!"
Napalingon silang dalawa sa akin. Dad's smilling so wide, but Gene smile's faded as she saw me. Saglit lang iyon, she nod at me then and half-smiled at me.
"What are doing here, Dad?"
I kissed him and looked at Gene. She's giving me creeps with the way she looked at me.
"Can't you see? I'm playing chess with Gene. We've been playing for more than an hour, now. She's waiting for you."
Napatingin ako kay Dad, saka kay Gene. Parang umurong bigla ang dila ko.
"F-for me?"
Dad laughed at us. Si Gene naman ay tahimik lang pero nakatingin pa rin sa akin ng matiim.
"But of course. Who else do you think?"
Hindi ako sumagot. I'm not even thinking anything right now.
"Have dinner with us, Gene. Your Tita Samantha makes the best kare-kare in the world."
Gene smiled at my father. Her smile's different, but it's not totally fake. She nodded at Dad and then looked at me with longing.
The dinner went well. Dad and Gene did the talking. Tahimik lang ako habang si Mom ay panaka-nakang sumusulyap sa akin. Paminsan-minsan ay sumasali din ito sa usapan.
We're done eating when the rain poured. Hard and non-stop. Mom's doing the dishes and Dad's already on their room. He needs to rest early.
"Looks like the rain won't stop, isn't it?"
I looked at Gene. Damn, there's no trace of anger in her face. The last time I checked, she's mad at what she saw between me and Elvis.
"Are you still mad?"
"I'm not here if I am."
She's looking at the windows. Mas lalong lumakas ang ulan sa labas. A memory from the past crossed my mind. The fact that it's still vivid made me love her even more.
"I'm sorry. It's not what you think-"
"I missed you."
Napatigil ako sa pagsasalita. She averted her gaze at me after she's done checking out the windows.
Inilang hakbang lang ni Gene ang pagitan naming dalawa at mabilis niya akong sinunggaban ng halik. She's kissing me deep and with hunger.
Her tongue seeked for an entrance and my body betrayed me. My feelings ruled over my sanity, I opened my mouth to let her in.
I snaked my arms around her neck and her hands went down my waist. Nang maalala kong nasa loob kami ng bahay, malakas ko siyang tinulak palayo sa akin. Parehas kaming naghahabol ng hininga nang makawala sa halik na iyon.
"Gene, Mom is just steps away."
She nodded at me.
"I know. Sorry about that. It's just that, damn. Never mind."
Tumango ako kahit wala akong naintindihan sa gusto nitong sabihin. Parehas kaming tumahimik habang nakatingin sa bintana.Malakas pa rin ang ulan at tila walang balak na tumigil. Seconds passed, napalingon kaming lahat sa pagtawag ni Daddy.
"Sab, why don't you let Gene stay in the guest room for tonight? The weather's not good. She can spend the night here."
Napatingin ako kay Gene. Ayoko sanang tumagal pa siya dito. I'm fine pretending that I'm okay and everything's fine between me and Gene. But I'm not really sure if I'm okay with the idea that she's dealing fine with my Mom and Dad.
I know her memory's lost, but I think this is too much. And I think it will be too much for me to wish for her memory to never come back.
"Yeah. I think that would be nice, Tito."
Napatingin ako kay Gene. I don't expect her to say yes.
"Good. You show her the room, Sabrina. I'll tell your mother."
Me and Gene's eye got locked with each other. I just spilled out the reason why I shouldn't be with Gene, but here she is. She's with us, tonight. I guess, this will be a long night.
