The pain's excruciating and it broke me into pieces. Seeing the one you love being kissed by your bestfriend, your former bestfriend.
That's exactly what I felt when I walked out that place with nothing inside me but endless throe. I was speechless and it felt like the world stopped spinning and I was stuck in that moment where Gene and Vannah kissed.
I didn't waste any second. I simply walked out of their faces trying so hard to maintain at least my dignity and composure.
Hindi ako umiyak. Hindi din ako nagwala. Hindi ako nagsalita. Nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad habang nakatanga lang ang mga kasamahan ko kina Vannah.
Tahimik akong umalis ng lugar na iyon na parang wala lang kahit deep inside ay gustong-gusto kong umiyak sa harapan nila.
Grabe naman kasi magbiro sa akin ang tadhana. Talagang sunod-sunod, ang bilis-bilis, hindi papipigil at walang patawad ang pahirap niya sa akin.
Meron pa po bang darating? Kasi parang hindi ko na kaya.
I settled for an ice cream as my dinner. Wala akong ganang kumain ng kahit ano maliban sa sweets. I was hoping that it could at least ease the pain I have inside me.
I'm still contemplating if I'll eat the remaining half of the ice cream galloon when I heard my door opened. I let out a deep breath. I don't need to turned my head just to know who's my visitor.
"Baby.."
She hugged me from behind. Ipinatong niya ang kanyang baba sa aking balikat at mas hinigpitan pa ang yakap sa akin. Nakaupo ako sa couch at nanonood ng tv habang kumakain when she came.
"I'm sorry for what happened earlier. Believe me, I didn't see it coming."
Hindi pa rin ako sumagot. Gene kissed my head and my nape as she whispered the words "I miss you" and "I love you".
Naramdaman ko na naman ulit ang sakit. Paulit-ulit nalang bang ganito?
"Mahal mo ba talaga ako, Gene?"
Tumigil siya sa ginagawa at naglakad papunta sa harap ng inuupuan ko. She stretched her knees at umupo sa harapan ko, her head is in level of my chest.
"I'm sorry. The kiss meant nothing, Sab. Mahal kita. Ikaw lang. I didn't know that Vannah will kiss me."
Tumayo ako at naglakad papunta sa may kitchen sink. I got myself a glass of water to calm my senses.
Nakita kong tumayo din si Gene pero hindi siya umalis sa kinatatayuan niya. Nanatili din ako sa kinatatayuan ko, nakasandal sa lababo ang likuran.
"Why is she here?"
Isa pa sa nakakapagpasakit ng damdamin ko ay ang katotohanang andito si Vannah. Gene didn't tell me that she's back and I just saw her with her ex! Worst, they even kissed. In front of me!
"I don't know. I purposely didn't text you since I wanted to surprise you. Hindi ko din alam na nandito. Kanina lang kami nagkita talaga. I'm sorry baby. Please."
I feel so gullible right now. Alam mo yun, yung feeling na ang bilis-bilis at ang dali-dali kong bumigay basta pagdating sa kanya. Yung kahit na nasasaktan na ako, sabihin niya lang na mahal niya ako, walang masasayang na segundo kasi maniniwala na agad ako. Makikipagbati na agad ako.
"That would be the last time that you'll see me with her, baby. Please. I don't want to see you hurting because of me. I just love you damn much, I hope you know."
I looked at her pleading eyes. She crossed the distance between us and claimed my lips. Damn, I missed her. Totally.
You're hopelessly in love, Sab.
