Broken Boys Like Broken Girls. // Hikaru x Reader

Chapter Twenty- The Freebie Campaign.

"I better be going," Haruhi says, "I've got some thinking to do." As Haruhi leaves Tamaki starts to whine and throw a tantrum.

"Why did you have to tell her the truth? You just added fuel to the fire!" He whines.

"The facts are the facts," Kyoya says.

"Yeah she had to find out we were doing this eventually," I say.

"Maybe we should have asked before we sold her pencil on the internet?" Honey asks.

"Yeah, for all we know, it was a keepsake from her mother," Kaoru says.

"Nah, it was just a freebie they were giving out at an electronics store," Hikaru says.

"What dead mother is leaving her daughter a pencil?" I ask.

"Gentlemen, just think about it. Haruhi may be basically indifferent, but if she had to choose, we know that she tends to favor men's clothing. And besides, when she first joined the host club, didn't she tell us... 'Being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad.' Why didn't I realize this before?" Tamaki asks.

"What that Haruhi's gay?" I ask him, "because she clearly isn't."

"Perhaps they would be a better match for Haruhi. Maybe she'd be better off with the Zuka club," Tamaki says.

"Yeah, she's perfect for a girls' school," Kaoru says.

"Haru-chan is going to transfer away," Honey whimpers.

"What are we going to do?" Hikaru asks.

"Haruhi is really smart so she can pass the test with flying colors," I say as Honey sobs loudly.

"And Lobelia academy has the money to pay off the 8 million yen debt she owes us," Kyoya says.

"Calm down, gentlemen and lady," Tamaki says, " It'll be all right. Listen to what I have to say. I have a secret plan."

Tamaki explains his plan of proving that with the host club you get both the masculine and feminine. By making everyone cross dress besides Mori who said nope. While this plan was so utterly stupid I really wanted to let this happen. And these idiots dressing as women I'm in.

*****

   As I quickly finish Hikaru's makeup I we hear people come near. "Is it weird that I'm still attracted to you even though you look like a chick?" I ask him. He shrugs as I smirk.

 "Is it weird to say you're the most attractive dude I've seen?" He asks.

"We'll continue this later," I tell him as the hosts gather. I had to get a set of amour that fit me while binding. I hear the Lobelia girls and shush everyone.

"Places," Tamaki orders as I shut off the lights. We fall into position as the doors open.

"Ouran!" Hikaru sings in a higher pitched voice. 

"Ouran!" Kaoru sings in a higher pitched voice.

"Ouran!" I sing lowering my voice.

"Ouran!" Mori sings in his normal voice.

'Ouran!" Kyoya sings in a higher pitched voice.

"Ouran!" Honey sings in a squeaky voice barely higher than his own.

"Ouran!" Tamaki sings slighter hair pitched as the light turns on.

"Host club welcomes you!" We sing. Tamaki walks forward in his large pink and red dress. His blonde wig hitting his back. But what over shinned it all was his over done makeup.

"Oh, Haruhi, welcome back," Tamaki says.

"Look, Haru-chan. I'm a princess now. Aren't I cute?" Honey asks swirling forward in his pink dress.

"What is the meaning of this? Are you trying to make fun of woman kind?" Benibara asks harshly.

"What? No, that's not it at all. Everything's going according to plan. Our strategy is guaranteed to make even a crying child smile. It's the freebie campaign," Tamaki says, "My dears, you ladies have all lived sheltered lives at Lobelia, so you might not know, that commoners are weak. They have a weakness for free things. Haruhi, you may be distracted by the Zuka club. But choose us. And you gain not only a host club full of brothers but sisters as well. See. This way, you can experience feminine bonding while staying in the host club. Isn't that a great idea? Aren't I pretty?"

"We're the Hitachiin sisters. Which one of us is prettier?" The twins ask.

"I'm just teasing you," Hikaru says.

"Ohohoho," Kaoru fake laughs.

"And I'm now I'm a prince," I say to Haruhi as I approach her, "and I could be your prince charming?"

"Listen, Haru-chan You can call me big sis from now on," Honey says.

"Why you... Do you idiots really think you can win her over like this? I've had enough of your fooling around," Benibara says as Haruhi busts out in laughter.

"This is too much. I don't even get what you're trying to do. I knew you were a bunch of goofballs, but geez..." She laughs.

"Are we really that funny?" The twins and Honey ask, "Call me big sister. Come on, do it. Just say it. Big sister. Say it please." 

"Come on. Cut it out. What were you thinking? What's gotten into you guys?" Haruhi asks.

"We did this because we don't want you to leave the host club, Haruhi,"  Hikaru says dropping the act.

"With the added bouns of me seeing how hot I look as a dude I mean damn!" I say causing them to chuckle.

"Well, maiden, have you made a choice?" Benibara asks.

"Yeah, I have," Haruhi says, "I'm sorry but your club's not for me. I think the idea of a girls' school is great. And your views are very unique and interesting. But I came to this school with a goal and a plan for my future. So while I appreciate your offer, I really already knew that I was never going to leave Ouran academy."

"Hahaha bitches!" I yell, "we get to keep her!"

"Haruhi. Hold on. If you knew you weren't going to leave, then why did you act so angry yesterday?" Tamaki asks.

"How would you feel if I stole something of yours without asking you? I really liked that mechanical pencil. It was easy to write with," Haruhi yells.

"I'm sorry," Tamaki apologizes, "But I was nice and offered my teddy-bear pencil in return, and you said you didn't want it."

"That's right. I still don't want it."

"Aren't I handsome?" I ask the twins.

"The handsomest," Hikaru says. His big dress and makeup with the fake pig tails tripping me out.

"Man I love the color blue on you," I tell him, "but never again to the neon green shadow."

"I figured as much," He says.

"We're not going to give up on you, maiden. I swear this to you. Some day, we'll come and rescue you from this place. And when we do, we'll abolish the Ouran host club. Well, adieu." The spin out as we all crowd around Haruhi in celebration on her staying. While Renge raises on he rig again.

"And so, a new rival, the Zuka club has appeared. From this point on, the story's gonna get even more exciting. What's gonna happen to our beloved host club boys and girl next? Hang in there, host club. Don't give up, boys."

"Hey, it's not your job to cook things up," Tamaki says.

"Yeah it was my turn!" I scream as Tamaki slips on a banana peel. "Why the hell are there so many banana peels around here?!"