Brilliant are the words inside my thoughts. Kung novelist lang ako at kung naisulat lang siguro ang mga salitang nasa isip ko kanina, I'll surely produced plentiful paragraphs na kakainisan ng editor at ika-crash out ng paisa-isa. The anecdotes I used comes from the mouths of my history, philosophy and psychology professors na hindi ko na matandaan kung kailan nila binigkas. I used to take note on every memorable qoutes that they'd tried to gave us. Kung kanino nanggaling ang mga salitang iyon na naipasa lang din sa kanila ay hindi ko na alam. Maybe my oldy but goldy professors got them from the person they've met across their lifetimes or from the books they've read. At hindi ko na alam kung ilan na ang nakabigkas ng mga salitang iyon. That's nice about words. They remain forever. They'll be passed through generations and generations until no one could clearly traced where they've orignated. As if these words are unregistered migrants from a distinct place. What's good is that some of these immigrant words are being caught by a unique police---whose guns are typewriters and pens.
"Thank you sir," ani ng waiter na kumuha ng bill. Malapad ang ngiti ng waiter na lalaki nang tanggapin niya ang pinaghalong bill at tip. Tip na mas malaki pa sa bill. Pagkatapos niyon ay sinuri ni Edison ang aking bibig at nang makita niyang wala nang dumi ay nginitian niya ako.
"How's food?" tanong niya.
"Masarap," I told him. Kagaya ng halik mo, dagdag ko sa aking isipan.
As if he had read my mind, Edison replied, "I'm glad at nagustuhan mo."
Tumango ako, maintaining my feline-like composure. Gosh! Mahihibang na yata ako.
"Minsan ay kumakain din ako rito. Pero madalas ay nagkakape ako kada matatapos mag-jogging every morning. I have a friend here. Barista. He's gay and his name is Georgina pero wala siya ngayon dahil madaling araw ang shift niya. Gusto ka nga niyang makita."
"He wanted to meet me. . ." aniya. Tumango ako. His bold arms are well rested on the edge of the lean back of the forniture kung saan siya nakaupo. At kahit hindi ko kita ay alam kong naka-dekuwatro ang puwesto ng kanya mga paa sa ilalim ng table.
A tuxedo feline came across the glass window. It's movement is as fluid as water. A cat walking on the side as if it's a catwalk. Pareho kami ni Edison na napatitig sa pusang dumaan sa labas ng barista pero agad din naman naming binalik ang aming pagtingin sa isa't-isa nang hindi na namin abot tanaw ang pusang iyon.
"Georgina is teasing me to show you on him. He's the one who told me to ask you kung malaki ba ang nota mo."
Napaubo si Edison sa sinabi ko. Natatawa siyang inalis ang mga titig sa akin.
"But what can I do? Wala siya dito?" I told him, trying to make him forget on what I have just told him. That nota thing. Kapag nasa harap ka raw kasi ng lalaki at bigla kang napabanggit sa bagay na iyon ay mapapaisip din agad ang lalaki sa kanyang pagkalalaki causing for his brain this send signals on the very nerve endings of his nota, causing it to dramatically grow as if a time lapse happen on a bowl of monggo immediately sprouting. Gross.
"I see," said he. His usual mantra when he finally understand a complex matter. I see: a respond that intimidates me.
Nang wala na akong masabi ay sumilip siya sa kanyang relos. Black rolex which for sure, more than a million ang presyo. In a snap, binalikan niya ang pagtitig sa akin. "How about walking towards Wilson University? It's just a walk away from here," suhestiyon niya.
"What are we going to there?" tanong ko. Tunog Dora the explorer.
"Advance enrolling?" sagot niya at dahil wala naman akong maisip na ibang gagawin sa araw na ito, sumang-ayon na ako sa sinabi niya. We peaceful took our exit from Deterdiente Barista at paglabas nga namin ay sinalubong kami nang hindi matinag-tinag na sikat na araw.
Infront us is the wide vivid road and on the sidelines are the different establishments and buildings towering from three floors to ninety floors at hindi na ako magtataka kung ang isa sa mga building na sakop ng mga mata ko ay pagmamay-ari ni Edison. He's not declaring his wealth pero sa university namin ay usap-usapan iyon. Just like what Edison have said to me, he don't want the spotlight.
"Tatawid tayo," turan niya na siyang ikinakaba ko.
"Hindi ako marunong tumawid---" bago pa ma-kompleto ang sentemyento ko ay hinawakan na niya ang kamay ko sabay hinila patungo sa kalsada. I felt his left hand covering my very small right hand. At kahit nakapikit akong naglakad dahil sa takot ay para pa rin akong nakakakita. Darkness occupied me, but Edison became my light. At pagbukas nga ng mata ko ay nasa kabilang side na kami.
Hinarap niya ako nang manigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko. His hand is still holding mine, like how the ozone layer protects the the earth from the harmful rays of the sun. City hustle and bustle wrap our wolrd like that of an amniotic sac. Maraming taong nilalagpasan kami at tila nawala sila sa isipan ko dahil sa pagtitig ni Edison sa akin. Through his gaze, I felt vulnerable and defenseless. Sa loob ko ay may narinig akong pagputok. There was still a soldier on the battlefield continuing to shoot the butterfly. The soldier looked tired at defenseless too pero hindi pa rin siya tumitigil, not to add the fact that he will never be awarded a medal of valor on what he is doing right now.
Inside Edison's eyes, I saw a lonely battlefield. Hindi kagaya ng akin na may sundalo pang lumalaban, sa kanya ay wala na. I saw profound sadness without history. A form of ellipsism. Gusto ko pa sanang maghanap ng mga detalye sa mga matang iyon pero hindi ko na nagawa nang biglang may dumaang sasakyan sa gilid ko.
I thought it was the end of my life ngunit mabuti na lang at nahila ako agad ni Edison. The next thing I knew was that my back is already rested on his right arm, perfectly catching me from an unexpected gravitational pull. Through that, I begin to see again the vivid and complex interior of his eyes again. Passersby kept walking around us and then here's me beginning to get lost inside his fully abandoned world. Pero bago pa ako tuluyang mawala sa loob ng mundo niya, mabilis niya akong hinila kagaya ng paghila niya sa akin kanina mula sa kapahamakan. And he did that by closing his eyes, shutting the gates of his battlefield, saving me from being out place, from an abduction.
As soon as he open his eyes again, naglaho na rin ang mundong nakita ko kanina. Reality strikes me again. I became sensitive to the passerby as well as the city hustle and bustle again. Itinayo ako ni Edison. Hinila niya ako at muli kaming naglakad. Hawak-hawak niya pa rin ang kamay ko. Maybe he realized that I'm too careless kaya ganoon na lang kahigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko. Too careless that I got almost hit by a car and too careless to fall on him.
* * *
BINABASA MO ANG
Crucify Me
Romance"Crucify me," he begs. Metrosexual Edison Bermundo-Chavez is a masochist on his own self. He is one of the most successful investment magnate throughout the country holding large shares on different real estate and banking companies. Scarred by his...
