Crucify Me

C H A P T E R 39

"Oh my God!" Naitakip ko ang parehong kamay ko sa bibig ko nang makapasok ako sa loob ng lighthouse. Ang hagdan papunta sa pinakatuktok kung saan naroon si Edison ngayon ay sobrang daming lightbulbs. Sa paligid naman ng hagdanan, sa mga ding-ding ay nakasabit ang iba't-ibang kulay ng ilaw. Pula, kahel, dilaw, green, asul, violet. Sobrang ganda! Nagmistulang tahanan ng bahaghari ang pinakaibabang parte ng lighthouse.

   Yari sa kahoy ang hagdanan, sa unang tingin ay mukhang marupok pero noong humakbang ako ay natanto kong matibay naman pala. At sa kabila nga ng pagkamangha ko sa aking nakita pagpasok ko rito ay pinilit ko pa ring pumanhik. Edison must have been waiting there!

   Pagdating ko nga roon sa pinakatuktok ng lighthouse ay nakita ko siya. Naitakip ko ulit ang kamay ko sa bibig ko. He chuckled when he saw me while he's standing inside. Ngumiti din ako pabalik habang naiiyak na.

   Lumapit ako sa kanya. Isa, dalawa, tatlong hakbang. Malayo pa rin. I am wearing a black dress and he's wearing a black suit. His hair is clean cut short. His eyes are striking at me deeply. I smiled at him. He chuckled.

Kahit malayo pa ako sa kanya, na-appreciate ko na agad ang pustora niya sa gabing ito. He have this gorgeous sharp edges on his face, especially his erotic jawline. He has this prominent chin with no mustache at all. His adam’s apple is clear and very visible. He's really sexy right now on his suit. Damn! Napaka-simply lang ng ginawa niya sa sarili niya, pero ang tindi na ng dating niya para sa akin. Ako, ilang oras ba akong na-ayos para gumanda ng ganito? Buong araw?

Maybe it is the way he's carrying himself? He's effortlessly doing it! I really love the way he looks tonight. Sana magandahan din siya sa akin.

Dahan-dahan ang paglalakad ko para hindi marumihan ang suot ko at para hindi na rin ako matapilok. Mataas ang heels ko na kulay itim din at kasing kintab ng waxing moon sa ibabaw ng lighthouse na ito. And yeah, we're inside the lighthouse. A day had already passed nang pinanuod namin ni Edison ang sunset sa view deck sa Mahatao, and heck, time is really running fast fast.

Last night, tabi kaming natulog ni Edison.

Marahas na humampas ang mga alon sa mabatong dalampasigan sa mga oras na iyon. Waves from the pacific ocean can't help themselves but crush the shore. Yet no matter how much they tried, they'll end up doing nothing. They can't just destroy it.

The waves and the shoreline reminds me of him. He is both the waves and the shoreline. Habang magkatabi kami, he admitted to me that has been planning to destroy himself since before but he can't. He wants someone to do it for him. Sadness had eaten his soul since before. At noong natagpuan niya nga ako, he planned to give me the full control of his destruction. He planned to give me the authority and the power to do it but he knows I just can't. He knows that I'm already madly in love with him and through that, he knows that I already lose the capacity to destroy him.

   "The reason I don't let anyone enter in my life because it's just too dark inside," said he habang nakahiga kaming pareho sa kama kagabi. He's not wearing any shirt. His upper body was barely naked while I'm lying sidewards next to him. Nakalagay ang kanyang parehong kamay sa likod ng kanyang ulo at tanaw na tanaw ko kung gaano siya kakisig habang nasa tabi ko siya. Walang kuryente sa loob ng carriage house sa tagpong iyon and the only thing gives us light that night was the candle on the center table which was already starting to stub. Through its dim and incandescent light, mas lalong nadepina ang bawat bahagi ng ibabaw na pangangatawan niya. He's like an Michaelangelo's art. But wait, he's asian. And he's not a painting nor a demigod statue. He's just him. He's Edison Bermundo-Chavez

"Then let me be your light," I smiled at him at mas lalo pa akong lumapit sa kanya. Our lips were inch closer that time. Ramdam ko ang init ng mabango't mainit na hininga niya. As the next batch of harsh waves kissed the humongous and sharp stones outside, umihip din ang napakalakas na hangin causing for our only candle inside the room to finally lose it's flame. And as if on cue, I kissed his lips. It was already dark.