"You're too young for this."
"Does it matter?"
Marahas na humampas ang mga alon sa mabatong dalampasigan. Waves from the pacific ocean can't help themselves but crush the shore. Yet no matter how much they tried, they'll end up doing nothing. They can't just destroy it.
The waves and the shoreline reminds me of him. He is both the waves and the shoreline. He wants to destroy himself but he can't. He wants me to do it. He wants me to take the full control of his destruction. He gives me the authority and the power to do it but I just can't. I love him and I don't wamt to destroy him. Pero dahil sa paulit-ulit na pamipilit niya, tila ba nagugustuhan ko na ang pananakit sa kanya. I'm beginning to love the process of destroying him, of instilling pain on him.
"The reason I don't let anyone enter in my life because it's just too dark inside," said he habang nakahiga kaming pareho sa kama. He's not wearing any shirt. His upper body is barely naked while I'm lying sidewards next to him. Nakalagay ang kanyang parehong kamay sa likod ng kanyang ulo at tanaw na tanaw ko kung gaano siya kakisig habang nasa tabi niya ako. Walang kuryente sa loob ng carriage house na ito and the only thing gives us light is the candle on the center table which is already starting to stub. Through it's dim and incandescent light, mas lalong nadepina ang bawat bahagi ng ibabaw na pangangatawan niya. His like an Michaelangelo's art. But wait, he's asian. And he's not a painting nor a demigod statue. He's just him. He's Edison Bermundo-Chavez.
"Then let me be your light," I smiled at him at mas lalo pa akong lumapit sa kanya. Our lips are inch closer. Ramdam ko ang init ng hininga niya. As the next batch of harsh waves kissed the large and sharp stones outside, umihip din ang napakalakas na hangin causing for our candle to finally lose it's flame. And as if on cue, I kissed his lips. It was already dark.
"Crucify me," he huskily pleaded habang marahan ko siyang tinatali at ginagapos kahit madilim.
"Don't worry Ed, I will," I told him as I finally give him what he want. The extreme and torment pain and suffering he craves.
"You're not doing it right."
Natigilan ako nang magsalita siya.
"You're already worshiping me," he added. Tumango ako. And then I started punishing him again.
The power he gives me leads me to addiction, like the addiction of heroin and any other form of drugs. And when there's addition, there's also side effects. Minsan ay sumobra ako sa kanya at kamuntikan ko na siyang mapatay.
Yet I know deep inside me that I can't just kill him. Someone will. I love him so much and the only thing I am capable of doing is either worshiping or crucifying him.
"That's how it must be done princess," he said kahit masyado ng maraming pasa ang nakagapos na katawan niya.
* * *
BINABASA MO ANG
Crucify Me
Romance"Crucify me," he begs. Metrosexual Edison Bermundo-Chavez is a masochist on his own self. He is one of the most successful investment magnate throughout the country holding large shares on different real estate and banking companies. Scarred by his...
