Crucify Me

C H A P T E R 33

Note: This chapter contains sensitive topic about drugs. Please be informed and as always, be guided.

Lovelots,

JoeyJM∆kathangIsip

***

"I used drugs to control my flashbacking, my manipulative trickery, my eccentric sex behavior, my hallucinations, my obsessive compulsive disorder. I hate my self because I'm a product of inbreeding and I do self destruct a lot of times. A preist raped me when I became an orphan. I was sexually abused by the media mogul who adopted me when I started hitting puberty leading me to become a masochist on my self. I almost killed my half brother and many other people. I am hungry of power and money. Just like my Dad, I pay politicians on their campaigns and hire smart accountants to reduce my tax returns. I'm a gambler. I do all the evil doings for the sake of power, money, ownership, name it. Now, do you still want me?"

Umiiyak ako sa kama. Yakap-yakap ko ang sarili ko at hindi na alam kung ilang oras na akong ganito. Si Edison ay nasa kuwarto rin na dito. Nasa sahig siya nakaupo at nakahilig ang kanyang likod sa dingding. Naninigarilyo siya at hindi ko na alam kung pang-ilang stick niya na iyon.

Kahit tanghaling tapat ay medyo madilim pa rin dito. Some sunlight are passing through the gaps of the window pero hindi iyon gaanong kasapat upang maging masyadong maliwanag dito.

Masyadong tahimik sa loob. Ang pag-iyak ko lang at ang mga alon sa labas ang natatanging tunog na marirnig. Minsan din ay nag-iingay ang mga ibon sa himpapawid.

"Wanna have some cigarette?" nagsalita si Edison.

"I'm not a smoker," sagot ko. That was the first time na mag-usap ulit kami mula kanina.

"Kung gusto mo ng umalis, I'll call Dalisay. Papakuha kita sa kanya rito," he uttered in a very relax tone.

Naiyak ulit ako. "I want to stay here."

"Okay," mabilis niyang sagot. And after that, there was silence again. I am still sobing, pero hindi na iyon gaanong ka-grabe.

Narinig kong lumabas si Edison. Akala ko, hindi na siya babalik pero makalipas ang ilang minuto ay bumalik siyang may dala ng glass of water.

"Here." Umupo siya sa kama. Tinulungan niya akong makaupo.

"Thanks," I told him. Noong uminum ako, hinawi niya ang buhok ko sa gilid. He gaze at me with his very worried yet piercing eyes. Nakaputing lose shirt lang ako at maong shorts. My collarbones are visible. There were freckles on it pero hindi ko ikinakahiya iyon. Si Edison naman ay shirtless pa rin. He's only wearing his board shorts. His chest is reddish. There were some little moles on his body pero hindi ko akam kung ilan iyon pero sa tansya ko ay hindi iyon lalagas ng sampu. He's not wearing any perfume except for that his very manly and very natural scent and as well as his malboro chocolate mint breathe is prevailing the entire place.

Noong natapos ako sa pag-inum ay ibinigay ko sa kanya ang baso. It shines when a small ray of sunlight from the chink of the nearby window hit it. Inilagay iyon ni Edison sa gilid at agad din naman siyang nagbalik ng tingin sa akin.

"You really want me to be a good guy don't you?" aniya. Tumitig ako sa kanya at ganoon din siya sa akin.

"I love you princess," he said.

"Mahal din kita Ed."

He chuckled at maya-maya pa ay hinalikan niya ako. Napapikit ako ng mga mata. I felt the tenderness of lips at habang nararamdaman ko iyon sa parehong mga labi ko ay para akong nalasing in a way na parang nawala ako sa katinuan ko at puro saya lang ang naramdaman ko.