The Girl on the Radio

Chapter 21

***Lexxi's Story***

*Flashback*

People do crazy things when they're in love. But now that I really think about it, what we had was never real love. Real love is two people willing to do anything for each other. What we had wasn't even close to that. People say love hurts, but is love supposed to hurt so much it causes extreme pain? That's the only love I've ever known. The love that trapped me. The love I had with Luke Mason. The day I met Luke I instantly fell for him. He was the mysterious new kid from a city none of us had ever been to. His dark hair, the hazel eyes, the way my name sounded on his lips, everything about him intrigued me. He became popular and girls went crazy for him, but he wouldn't date just anyone. So the day he asked me out I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe he chose me out of all the girls after him. I loved him and desperately wanted him to love me back. But dating Luke wasn't like an average relationship. There was a cycle. Luke would make me feel really special when he wanted to, then once I gave him what he wanted he would leave for a couple days and sometimes go to other girls, but then he'd come back,apologize and the cycle would start all over again. The first time I caught him cheating it was with my friend Vanessa Burch. I was devestated and somehow Luke convinced me it was my fault.From that point on I felt pressured to make sure Luke wanted me. I changed myself for him because the thought of him leaving, broke me. He cheated about 4 other times and Bex tried to talk some sense into me. But I was too far gone. I hadn't eaten a full meal in weeks and couldn't sleep because I blamed myself for everything. This love was tearing me apart. Then one cold January night everything changed. I was at a party hiding in the bathroom because I heard Luke was looking for me and I thought he was pissed at me. I was sitting there on the cold tile floor hiding from the person I called my boyfriend. This isn't right, I should be running to my boyfriend not away from him. Then it hit me. I would never be good enough for Luke Mason. All this wasn't worth it. I looked at in the mirror and didn't recognize the girl inside. My hair was straight, long, glossy and highlighted. My eyes were rimmed with black eyeliner and my eyelids were a shimmery silver. I was wearing a leather jacket and a black miniskirt. But this wasn't me. I was about fifteen pounds skinnier and my eyes were lifeless. I pulled up the sleeves on my jacket and ran my hand over the scars on my wrist. Why am I doing this to myself? Luke's not worth it. Then the door opened and I lights switched off. I shivered in the cold and heard footsteps. "My little Lexxxxxi. Why are you hiding? You know I want you." Luke slurred slightly. He took off my jacket and threw it to the floor."I want you." He whispered his breath hot in my ear. Despite my squirming he managed to remove my skirt and unhook my bra. He wrapped his arms around my bare shoulders."NO! STOP!" I said struggling to break free."Lexxi what the hell do you think you're doing?!" He yelled at me and tightened his grip. His lips found mine and he started to kiss me roughly. I struggled for air and tried my best to push him away."I'm not your sex slave anymore Luke!" I managed to gasp out. "IT'S OVER!" I said as I caught my breath. I was determined to get out of this relationship. I turned to run, but he caught me by my wrists and dragged me toward him."Listen whore, you're not leaving. You're staying with me." He demanded. I kept fighting to break free."I said YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!!!" He screamed as his fist collided with my cheek. A moment later my eye was smashed and i had taken a punch to the lip as well.I fell to the floor limp and lifeless, my face numb with pain. Luke ran out leaving me there barely conscience. After that everything else was a blur. I remember the door creaked open and I heard screaming. In the distance I heard Vanessa's voice saying something about calling 911. My vision blurred and blue,red and white rays of light filled the room as an ambulance arrived. The last thing I saw before I completely blacked out was snow falling from the sky as I faces the dark sky. Then it all went black. When I woke up I found myself in the hospital with Bex right by my side, her eyes red from crying. She told me that Vanessa found me lying on the floor in a dark bathroom alone. She also told me like was nowhere to be found and rumor had it he ran away to Chicago. Bex asked me what happened and I lied and told her I tripped and hit my head on the sink. I did tell her the real story eventually though. I remember sitting there in the clean hospital bed with a mirror in my hand running my fingers over my purple cheek and beat up lip and eye. I sat there and cried. Was love really worth this pain? I will never forget that night with Luke. My world was forever changed as was my view on love. I swore to myself to never fall in love again. But is Zayn changing that? I don't quite know. But I do know that seeing Luke reminded me that love still hurts. I still need to be careful. But I can't live in fear. And I'm gonna face my fear now. I'm gonna face Luke Mason.