Chapter One: how my sorry ass got saved by the love of my life

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AN: Hey guys! I wrote this shit when I was in 7th grade and I must admit that the first 2 chapters are pretty shit. I'm probably going to rewrite it, so be prepared!

Thorin POV

This might as well be the end. Me, lying almost dead on Ravenhill while Bilbo sees me losing to that white bald fuck. No hard feelings included. I just wanted to impress my hobbit with my majesty. Pure platonic of course. I mean, he doesn't seem to like me that much. I'm just a grumpy old stone hearted pig. Nobody likes me. Probably. That's also why I'm virgin as fuck, not because I want to bone Bilbo. Thorin, this is not the ideal moment for that! And now I'm going to die. Great. My family too. In a tree. Burning flames as high as the Mountain and as hot as Bilbo. Bilbo would never seeing his Bag-End again. Goodbye, my loyal hobbit. I sincerely wish we would meet again. Meet me, my love.

"Thorin!"

Wait.

Is that...

My love?

Bilbo?

The last thing I saw before blacking out was my brave little hobbit, my burglar, whom I have never more admired, jumping right in front of me.
Saving my sorry ass. Perhaps trying to kill the bitch Azog wasn't the best idea I ever had.
If that sexy little hobbit dies right now I will be the one to take him out of his grave and kill him again. Please don't waste your beautiful flowering life for a pathetic excuse of a self proclaimed king.
I would be forever grateful for the wonderful gift that is Bilbo.
I could kiss him right now.
If I was not dying.
So not going to do that.

AN: I have rewritten it but now this chapter has a shitty font. I hope you continue reading, my loves.

Sincerely,

Eve

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