AN: I didn't die lmao but Martin Freeman is too cute
Thorn POV
Frerin Durin.
Frerin fucking Durin.
Frerin Durin fucking my ghivashêl.
My brother fucking Bilbo.
Why didn't he know that it is against the unwritten law of dwarves to have.... uhm... sexual encounters.... without marriage!?
Or without knowledge of your brother!?
"Fili! Sister-son!"
"Yes, uncle?"
"Did you know that your uncle is dead very soon?"
...
"What? You?"
"Your other uncle."
"Bilbo?"
"We aren't married yet, so no, my brother, Frerin."
"Isn't he dead? Like, dead for 29 years or something?"
"Yeah, but I'm gonna grab him out of his grave and kill him with my bare hands again until all his sins have left his body and lay before me on the very ground of which he committed them!"
"Okay.... And what exactly did he do to deserve this?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"I think so, yes"
"Really?"
"Yes?"
"Like, 100% sure?"
"Yes?"
"He fucking stole Bilbo's fucking virginity before I fucking could!"
*le gasp*
"He didn't!"
"Yes, he did!"
"Does Bilbo know that it was your brother?"
"..."
"Well?"
"..."
"Uncle?"
"..."
"You're in big troubles know..... If only mom finds out.... that'll be fun.."
Oh crap.
If Dis finds out.
"I think we got a problem here"
"Wasn't that clear before!?"
"Well, Yes. But not in this way! This is dwarven law! The Durin Family name could be ruined!"
"I might have an idea....."
An: hahaha cliffhanger i love you ❤️
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