Walk on the Beach - R5 Fanfic

Chapter 48

Eventually I went inside that early morning, and eventually Ross went back to the hotel.  It took a while to get back to sleep though, I was still upset.  But when I did, I slept for a while.  Nothing woke me up except my mom walking in to wake me up.  

"Are you ok?  I thought I heard you crying."  She sat at the end of my bed.

"Just a rough conversation with Ross."  I said, my eyes were finally dry.

"Oh, is everything going ok with him?"  She said with that concern that only mothers can get.  The concern where they know you can tell them what is hurting, but they can't always stop the hurt.

"Just, we are getting unsure of our relationship.  Nothing I can't deal with."  

"Okay." She left and I got up to get dressed.  I guess I woudl just wait for Ross to call me to hang out today, I think we might need a little time to ourselves this morning.  I got breakfast, and stole the TV from Aiden.  I then got a call from Riker? 

"Hey Riker?"  I answered with question.

"Hey, do you know where Ross is?"  

"He is at the hotel?  Isn't he..?"  That's where I last knew where he was...except I didn;t actually know if he went back to the hotel.  I last saw him in my yard.

"No..He must have taken the car because that's not here either."  I would ask Riker if he came back last night, but I don't think he knew he left.

"Uh, Riker, could I talk to Ryland?"  Ross said he told Ryland he left to see me last night.

"Yeah.  Hey Ry, talk to Blair."  Riker called to his brother.

"Blair, hey?"  He said.

"Did Ross come back last night?"  

"He did, but he seemed upset is something wrong?"  Ryland asked me.

"Yeah, well, actually yeah.  But it's just a relationship thing that we can work out... So he wasn't there when you woke up?"

"No, but I know he fell asleep when he got back last night."  Ry said.

"Ok, uh, I'll call him."  I hung up and rolled through my contacts.  Crap, where did he go?  Was he that upset to go hide somewhere..?  

I called Ross's cell once, no answer.

I called it again, still no answer.  I left a message this time.  "Ross, it's Blair.  Pick up your phone please.  You are freaking us out.  Love you."

I called again, "Hello?"  I heard the line pick up.

"Sorry I wasn't paying attention to my phone."  Ross answered.

"Ross where are you?  I called you three times, Riker called they are looking fo you!"  I lowered my voice back down.

 "Sorry, I just needed some air, I'll call Riker and tell him I am fine."  He said.

"Ok do that, but where are you Ross."  I said again.

"I went to that park, that we were at.  I just wanted to get away."

"I'm coming."  I said grabbing the keys off my counter.

"You don't have to come, i just-"  I stopped him.

"I'm coming."  I was already in the car.  I hung up the phone, and then arrived at the park.  

I walked around looking, then realizing he would probably be by that pond we were at.  And sure enough after making my way through the woods, I could see him sitting there all lonely.  I went and sat down next to him.  

"Hey."  I said looking at him, he just looked down.  "What's up?"  I was trying to lighten the mood here.  He finally looked up, his eyes were a bit puffy so he had been crying at some point.

"So I have been thinking."  He said.  Great, those words just don't sound good.

"And..?"  I said, partially not wanting to here what he owuld say next.

"And maybe we should take a break."  His words were slow and just hurt to hear.

"Break?  You mean like break up..?"  I said back.

"No, it's just hard-" I cut him off.

"It's because I kissed Josh isn't it?"

"It's not"  He said, something made me finally believe him.

"Then what is it?"  I leaned in, preparing to listen to whatever he was going to say.

" We are just to far apart, and I know we both know it is hurting both of us.  We can't be in this relationship with our lives right now."

"I get it."  I said, holding back a few tears.

"But for now maybe just wait, until we are less busy.  Until we have more money, to come see eachother.  Or maybe just until we calm down a bit with life.  You said last night, I have music and acting, and you have your education.  I don't want to interfere with your future."

"I get it."  Were the only words I could choke out.

"Please don't think it's your fault.  I'm not saying this because I don't want to be with you.  I'm saying this because I love you, and want to be with you more than anything."  He said this, and I just let tears roll down my cheeks.

"Me too, you're right."  I said between gasps of air from crying.  "We need this break, it will be good for us.  And who's to say we won;t get back together?  I will take that flight to come record and maybe we see how it is going from there." I wiped my tears with my thumbs.

"Exactly,"  He was quiet for a minute.  "You know I love you."  He said looking in my eyes.  

"And you know I love you."  I added, still staring at his eyes.  This wasn't a break up this was a see you later.  Which is why he kissed me so passionately, because we didn't know if we would kiss again for a while.  It was sort of like a good bye kiss, but also like an ending to a great story.  But I knew this was not the end, it was intermission.  We stopped kissing, but our noses were still touching and I was once again staring into those eyes.  I had seen those eyes in pictures, but never did I know how much depth there was to them.  Then he hugged me tight again.  SOmething about this feeling right now is what I will miss most.  His strong arms protecting me, for the last time for a while.  

"I'm gonna miss you."  

"I think I'll miss you more."  He stopped hugging me and made eye contact again.

"If you need me, I'm here.  And you know that.  Blair, I would go through hell and back to make you understand how much I love you , and how much I want to always be there for you."  He said then wrapping his arms around me again.  

"Good because I need you now."  I laughed a bit, and I felt his chest laugh too.

"Then I'm here."  And with that he kissed my head and continued to hug me.  

And that's how we stayed for a while, until I realized I would have to let go of him, and let him leave to wherever his next stop on tour was.  I followed his car back to the hotel to go say goodbye to all of them.  I guess Ross and I's forever isn't coming as soon as I thought.