Not Your Luna--The Broken Bond (book 1 COMPLETED)

Chapter 38

May 17, 2020 edited

Not perfect but better...No plot changes

 I was sitting in the woods. Not too deep, I could see the houses but deep enough that no one could see me. I don't remember coming out here. That has been happening a little too much lately. One minute I would be somewhere and the next I would be somewhere else. No memory on how I got there or how long I have been in the new place. It has been a week since my little episode with Nick. We haven't talked since. The next morning I was completely disgusted with my actions. I couldn't believe what I almost did to Nick. I was going to beg for his forgiveness but I didn't see him for two days. That was proof enough on how badly I fucked up. He wanted nothing to do with me and I didn't blame him one dame bit. I was no better than him.

I went to school and pretending he wasn't there. I never looked in his direction. I didn't want to see the disgust on his face when he saw me. No, I wasn't running. I was avoiding. It helped that I skipped the cafeteria and gym everyday. After the third day M1 started to wait outside the school when he knew gym class started. No one said anything to me about it besides walking in the woods was not safe right now. I didn't ask why. I didn't care.

I started my morning runs earlier so I would be alone. I think I was being followed but I could never be sure. Everywhere I turned in the house or while I worked out M1, Corey, Jenson or Uncle Thomas was there. I still talked to M1 but not like I used to. I made excuses on why I couldn't train with him a couple times. He let it go even though I could tell he wanted to say something. Uncle Thomas ate breakfast and dinner with me everyday. After the third day he stopped asking if I was doing ok. My answer was always the same. Fine. We didn't talk much after that. I guess he got tired of the one to two word answers. Now we sat in a comfortable silence.

Corey never approached me since that day I shifted but he was always there watching me. When I noticed him anyways. I had a feeling that if anyone was following me it was him. I wasn't sure why I thought that. Maybe it was the way he watched me. It was as if he could see what was going on inside of me. My suspicions were right when I was sitting in the middle of the woods on the ground and he showed up out of nowhere and sat beside me.

I wasn't sure how long I was sitting there for. When I finally realized I was there, after one of my missing time episodes, the sun was high above me but now it was to my right and halfway down. Maybe dinner time or close to it. When Corey sat beside me I didn't look over at him and he didn't look at me. We sat in silence for a while.

"Have you talked to her yet?" Corey asked out of the blue while putting a water bottle in front of me.

"Who?" I asked, taking a drink.

"Your wolf. I was wondering how she was holding up," he explained.

"Oh." When I started to talk it all came out. I wasn't sure if I was feeling a loss and had to get things off my chest or if someone took over my body. "Not since I was unconscious. She said she had to heal. She apologized for breaking the bonds. I still don't know what she meant by that. I feel her more than I did a week ago though. I wonder if when I lose some time if it is her taking over." I shrugged. Losing track of time was really starting to bother me.

Corey sat in silence for a couple minutes. "It kinda is because of her. About losing time. Sometimes when our wolf is really damaged they need to take some of our energy to heal themselves. During that time is probably why you can't remember things. It happens when we are the most relaxed or when we are thinking hard about everything else and not what is around us. Do you want me to explain about the bond thing? I went through it so I can help," he asked, still not looking at me. I shrugged my shoulders. Yes, I wanted to know but I would not ask.

"When you, I mean your wolf attacked Jenson your mate bond broke. Not completely but damn close. You see we should never be able to hurt the person we are mated too. Oh it happens but those are under extreme emotional cases. I am pretty sure you fought your wolf on that which hurt the bond between you and your wolf. Once again you both were fighting against the other. From what I have learned your wolf has been trying to get out for a few years but without a pack she didn't have the extra kick she needed. Being with your dad wasn't enough. Remember we are pack creatures. We need other wolves around us to stay healthy and strong.

"Your wolf struggled to get out to help you over the past few years. It was her anger you felt when you fight. Maybe not all of it but a good chunk. It was probably her satisfaction you felt when you hurt people as well. She has been with you this whole time. She has felt what you have felt, what you have seen, and everything you have gone through over the past couple years. Ok, that is what I think anyways.

"That was why she went to attack Jenson and that is why she is so weak now. What he did was her breaking point. I am actually a little surprised she is still with you. I am happy she is. It also tells me that you both are very strong and will work well together. She will help you when you need it and you will keep her grounded. When you stopped her from killing Jenson you won the dominance fight. You proved to her that you and only you are in charge." Corey sounded in awe or maybe it was pride.

"Is that why I don't sense things like I used too? Because she, my wolf is weak?" I blurted out.

Corey sat in thought again before answering. I liked that he did that instead of just throwing answers at me. "Partly. You have a natural ability to sense things already. Your wolf just enhances them. The reason you can't sense things is because you are blocking it out. You are living in that head of yours instead of out here in the real word with the rest of us. Your wolf is still too weak to pay attention when you are not."

That made sense. "What did you mean about going through this with your wolf before?" Shit I was just full of questions today.

Corey told me about his crazy bitch of a mate and I told him he pulled the short end of the stick on mates like I did. He laughed which was my intention. Then he told me what and where he has been doing over the past year. About that he has Alpha blood in him but since he has an older brother that he could not become Alpha for his pack. I asked him questions about the packs he has visited and he told me. Just like everything else in life each pack was different. Some had good qualities and others were just fucked up. There seemed to be less packs that were truly like a big family but they were out there. It made then weak and at the same time more powerful. It looks like I wasn't the only one who thought love was a weakness.

"It's getting late and I am starved. Do you want to grab some food with me?" He noticed my hesitation so he quickly added, "Tony, Nick, Thomas, and Jenson have been taking their turns checking in on us for awhile now and your Uncle is getting a little nervous since it is getting dark."

I sighed. I didn't really want to go back to the house but I was also starting to feel a little uneasy being out here. I stood up and started my way back to the house without a word. We have talked a lot and I was exhausted. All week it didn't take much for the exhaustion to kick in. Corey said it was due to my wolf healing herself. I just wish she would hurry the hell up so I could feel like myself again. I needed my energy back to normal by next week. I had made my decision and Corey helped even though he didn't know that he had.

A couple more days had gone by and I felt almost like my old self. I could feel my wolf growing stronger everyday even though I didn't hear from her. I was fine with that. My only concern was my strength. I made my decision and had a plan in place. A small part of me wanted to forget about it all but after what has happened and what I did I wouldn't let myself change my mind. Everything was set, now I just had to wait.