Why Don't We bxb oneshots

✨Holding On~Zonah✨

Ship(s): Zonah (Jonah and Zach)

Prompt: Zach's relationship with Jonah has been spiraling out of control because when things are ending, we all freak out, and continue to hold on. But that's all Zach's doing. Holding on.

Famous or nah: famous

-Zach's POV-

I let out a sob as soon as Jonah slammed the door shut. The sound of the car leaving the drive way coming soon after.

Everything has been so out of control lately. Especially with us. And it's just so hard. Especially when we have so many people watching us.

We are under a microscope making it ten times harder to deal with. We have to seem like a perfect couple that we are far from.

I don't want to be like this anymore. I don't want to be the only one hurting anymore. I want the pain to go away but how can it when I'm still with the person who causes the pain? But I can't leave him. He's all I have left. He gives me pain but he also makes me happy when he's not yelling at me. Or cheating on me.

Jonah means so much to me which is why I just can't let him go. But I think it's time to do so. In order to let myself escape this cage that I put myself into. And don't allow myself to leave even when the door is wide open.

It's difficult because I know when I walk through that door, Jonah won't be mine anymore. My first love will no longer be mine to call mine.

It kills me to think of my future without him when just three months ago, we were talking about our future together. But that one damn night changed it all. That one night. That's all it took. That one night for me not own Jonah's heart anymore. Well because he found someone better for him. As he puts it in.

Sometimes it feels like I'm a ballon filled with emotions and he's all the pins in the world.

But maybe what scares me more then leaving him is being all alone.

Because even after everything he puts me through, I still hold on. Hoping that it gets better. But am I just trying to convince myself at this point?

I tell myself it will get better but really, it's not. I just tell myself it will.

He picked me up when I was in a hole. A hole I never thought I would escape from. But he brought the rope and pulled me up. I feel like I own him at least staying but now, it seems like he's putting me back in the hole. And leaving with the rope so I cannot escape.

I'm tried of being in pain, I'm tired of being scared of my own boyfriend. I don't want to live like this anymore. I am done.

But how can I leave the person I love deep down? Even after everything he has done to me. Because even though he brings me pain, he's also the person who brings me happiness. It might not sound like it but he does.

Jonah has a place in my heart and no one will ever replace his part. If I do leave him, I know that I will wonder about him for the rest of my life. Jo means a lot to me. More then others will know. And I don't know if I'm ready to give him up.

As of right now, all I'm doing is

Holding on

Hoping it gets better, hopefully one day it will.

___________~~__________

Kinda don't like this one 😕 feels like I was just rambling and it doesn't really have a point. This one shot was just all over the place tbh

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-Mariana 💜✨

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