Purpose || Bang Chan

1

Shin Hee-young

He's locked up in the recording room again. The boys called me telling me their leader wouldn't talk to them and they hoped I could help.

So here i am, knocking on the door. I could hear music from inside the room and if I listen really closely, I could here some sniffles from inside.

He's probably crying alone in there....

It's probably his girlfriend, maybe they had a fight?....

"Chan, please open the door.... if not, will you please at least answer me? Just talk to me..." I leaned on the wooden door, the other boys left long ago, thinking we needed privacy. They left but not leaving a lunch box. They said Chan hasn't eaten anything since last night. "Will you at least tell me you aren't dead in there?"

But nothing... He wouldn't answer me....  in fact, I only heard the music getting louder.

"If you won't open the door, then fine, i'll stay out here in the cold hallway until you come out yourself." I sat on the cold hard floor, leaning on the wall.

I took out my phone and messaged Chan's current girlfriend... also known as my bestfriend... , Soo-min.

To Soo-min the queen
Yah, did you have fight with Chan??

I waited for a reply and got it not ling after.

From Soo-min the queen
You are our friend, Hee-young but please... this isn't your business.

I just sighed and shut my phone off. She's right... This isn't any of my business. I'm just their friend... But i'm still doing this... why?

....... It is simply because, I love Chan..
He knew but he never felt the same way for me... So in short, I got rejected...

I can't do anything about that. I can't force him to feel the same way or else, i'll just ruin our friendship and I don't want to loose him. That's why i'd rather get hurt, seeing my bestfriend date the guy I loved ever since.

I will always be here for Soo-min and Chan... I will always be just behind them, making sure to pick them both up when they fall. I wil never walk the same pace with them.... I accept that already.

"Hee-young.... are you still there?" His voice was a bit raspy. The music from inside quiet down, thank god for that.

"Yes, I'll always be right here, Chan....." I said... but.... I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "But what if I wasn't here...."

I slapped myself inside my head. I faced the door, sitting in front of it and knocking. "Can I see you now?"

I heard light footsteps from inside the room and heading towards my direction, the door. I stood up and dusted my shorts.

The door opened.

Chan had his head down... He was trembling a bit, probably because of crying.

"Stop crying, you brat." I smiled a bit. I walked close to him and gave him a comforting hug. "I won't ask you what happened... I just know you need a hug right now."

He buried his head on my shoulder. He didn't hug back, he was just busy hiding his face from me...

"Here, just eat this. Your members were really worried, they packed a lot of food." I ruffled his hair and smiled at him. I set the lunchbox in front of him, since we're now sitting inside the recording room. You know that one where they filmed when they made Yayaya. I also put the water bottke i brought for him on the table.

He was eating quietly, obviously he starved himself.

"Hee-young," he started, "Thank you for always being here for us... I wouldn't know what to do without you." My smile faltered... But I forced myself to smile for him. Of course, it hurts a lot, knowing i'll always and forever be only a friend.... specially when it comes from his mouth, it hurts even more....