Right In Front Of You✔️

11. Won't tell you sweetheart

"What do you have for that English assignment from yesterday?" I ask Jay as I sit down on the other side of the table. 

Matt immediately sits down beside me and wraps his arms around me. I lean into his side with a smile on my face. 

It's been a couple of weeks since he had his first lash out. I wish I could say that it has stopped. But it hasn't. 

If anything it has gotten worse. 

For every little thing, he finds a way to hurt me, but he's smart. He hits me in places I have always covered with clothes. Since it has gotten chillier the past weeks, I'm wearing jeans. 

Matt has taken this as his advantage and also hits me on my legs now. Although I'm a human punch bag, I just can't tell anyone. First of all, it would mean Matt would hurt my loved ones and me even more. 

Second, my parents would practically disown me. That's how disappointed they'd be. 

Third, I would lose all the good moments, because even though Matt has his moments, he can also be a really nice guy. He can be sweet and caring. I don't want to lose him, because I love him. And this is a part of love. Getting hurt. 

"Won't tell you, sweetheart. You have to wait till class," Jay mocks me. I gulp at the nickname. I know Jay doesn't mean anything with it, but I'm going to pay the price for it. I already feel Matt tense beside me and at that moment I know. As soon as we're alone, Matt is going to punish me for Jay's nickname. 

"Oh come on. Why can't you just tell me?" I whine. 

Our assignment was that we had to go on the internet, type in 'quote' and find one that we relate to. We have to tell the whole class why we picked that quote and why we relate to it. It could be literally any quote. 

A quote that just came from Tumblr or something or a quote from a famous person of some sort. I, myself, knew immediately which quote I would pick. A quote I have related to ever since I heard it for the first time. 

"Why don't you tell me yours?" Jay mocks me. He has a glance of curiosity and amusement in his eyes. "Won't tell you, sweetheart. You'll have to wait till class," I mock him, but as soon as the words have left my mouth I regret them. Matt is completely tensed up beside me and I can already feel his nails pressing in the skin on my waist. 

"Kai, are you okay?" Kevin asks me. 

Yes, he's back to talking to me completely. He accepts Matt now and they're even some kind of friends. Kevin has also accepted that I love Matt and that no one can change that. 

Liv is also on the way of accepting Matt but keeps telling me he's hiding something. Something that might potentially hurt me. 

If only she knew.

I have to be honest, lately, I have been questioning my love for Matt. He has been a douche bag the past couple of weeks and that's not only because he hits me. 

He has been distant. He doesn't kiss me as much as he used to anymore and when he does? When we do kiss, the kisses are rough hasty and full of lust.

 I mean, I don't mind that, although they are a little too rough for my taste, I just feel like there's no love between us. When we kiss it feels like we're just two people passing in the night. It feels like we're just a hook-up. A kiss-and-dump kind of thing. 

And I know love is supposed to hurt. My father once said that love is no love if it doesn't hurt a little. 

Back then, I didn't ask him what that meant, because I was really young. But now I feel like he didn't mean it like I thought he meant it. I thought he meant it as physical pain, but I have never seen either of my parents hit each other. Not seriously then. I mean, they do slap, but that's mostly playfully.