Right In Front Of You✔️

32. Always have. Always will

I think I'm gay

I blink twice staring into my best friend's eyes. "Really?" I ask her in disbelief. She nods her head insecure. "Are you disappointed?"

"What? No!" I exclaim immediately. "I could never be disappointed in you." I grab her hand with mine in a reassuring matter.

"You're my best friend Liv. I just want you to be happy." I take her in a hug. Liv hesitates for a minute, but she hugs me back anyway.

"Can I tell you another thing?" Liv asks when she pulls away. I nod gesturing for her to go on. "I think I like her," Liv whispers. Her body shocking, but there aren't any tears slipping out of her eyes. I try to calm her down.

"Who do you like?" I ask her carefully. "I don't know if she likes me as well," Liv goes on, completely ignoring my question.

"Whoever she is. She would be stupid not to." Liv smiles at me, but the smile never reaches her eyes.

Although her father wasn't home much when she was younger, Liv has always been a happy girl. Most of the time, it was her and her mom, but whenever uncle Hayes was at home, Liv got spoiled and she knows it, but she was grateful anyway.

She has been raised a good girl. Her parents brought her to Africa multiple times, where people aren't as lucky as we are. She was taught to be happy with what she got because it'll always be more than most kids on this earth.

Liv is a grateful nice smart happy girl. She always has a smile on her bright smile on her face. In all our years as best friends and cousins, I have rarely seen that bright smile falter.

One thing I had never seen on Liv's face was a fake smile. I had seen her cry, smile and blush, but whenever she smiles, the room lights up. She smiles a real smile that would always reach her eyes.

To see that smile be fake breaks my heart. It didn't matter what kind of smile it was and the reason behind it, you always know her smiles are genuine, but now?

Now she seems to be struggling with herself. She seems to have lost all of her confidence. I know that she had been struggling with this. It must have been hard.

Struggling with keeping such a big secret, scared that people wouldn't love her anymore like they used to.

I hadn't realized how much this had been eating her from the inside.

Although it's crazy for us to not love her anymore just because she's gay, I can imagine how scared she would have been. Her mom had always encouraged her to get a boyfriend, but she had always ignored her.

Now, I understand why. She wasn't interested in boys like that. She was just scared to come out for it. She was scared to disappoint the ones who love her.

She kept all of this a secret for the exact same reason, I didn't tell anybody Matt hit me.

"But I've liked boys before," Liv whispers snapping me out of my thoughts. "You can get feelings for both genders Liv. It's no shame," I tell her the truth. Liv looks up at me raising her eyebrows as if asking me if I really believe that.

"I won't stop loving you for it and neither will anybody else," I reassure her. Liv's falls again. "You can't make people love me, Kai," she whispers softly. So soft I almost can't hear her.

Almost

"No, but I can tell people that you're not a disease they should run away from," I joke with a part of me serious. "You're still human Liv. You still have the ability to love others. Being gay won't change that."

Liv looks up at me. A smile, a real smile forms its way on her face. It seems, my words have finally reached her. "You'll always be here?" I nod before she has even finished the last word. "I'm your best friend. Of course, I'll always be here."