Change [Ricci Rivero, Completed]

Kabanata XXVIII

If you love me, why'd you leave me?

Simplehan lang natin, ako narin ang sasagot sa sarili kong tanong.

Its maybe because he got tired. You were too much. Sinagad mo siya to his limits. You knew he could love every little bit of you but doubted his capacity. You though he couldn't handle you kaya rejected him kahit in the middle of the relationship.

Yes, you gave him the chance but he knew at some point, you may have been just force by the feeling.

Until when will I be suspended in this denial situation? This pain, these pieces of shattered glass stuck in my heart caused by his sudden departure, hanggang kelan ako maglolong for someone I used to have and does not seem to have plans to reconcile with me?

"Alex, weren't you just laughing when I called you up last night?" tanong ni Elliana. You can see worry in her eyes and sa tone of her voice.

"Yeah and look at me now, hysterically crying just because I saw him and his new girl!"

I can't help but cry. This is the first time kasi I saw Ricci upclose after all those months and also the first time I saw that Jean girl I bumped into while rushing out.

"Ang ganda nya, leche! Nakakapikon! Para syang si Claudia Barretto! Diba yun yung crush ni Cci?! Ang hinhin girl, ang hinhin!" atungal ko pa as they both pat my head. I sat kasi sa backseat and rested my head sa gitna ng mga upuan. You can feel their worry lalo na at iba yung iyak ko ngayon.

Usually, I'd rant about why he left kahit alam ko obviously ang sagot. Yep, I'd rant about that and still cry tons of tears. I'd cry about the little things which reminds me of me which sometimes is just a stupid deed kasi di mawalawala sa sistema ko.

Ever since, we all thought siya ang natututo sakin pero hey girl, ako pala talaga ang nakahakot ng maraming lessons from him.

"San tayo punta, Donny?" tanong ko at tumigil sa paghikbi.

"Basketball court."

"Really, Donny?" sarcastic na tanong ni Elliana sa kanya. "Are you out of your mind? Donny, everything inside of the Basketball court reminds her of Ricci!"

"Just trust me on this, okay? Ako bahala."

"Donny, I know you're trying to help," sabi ko at hunihikbi parin. "Pero Donny, alam mo naman diba?"

"Trust me on this, Alex. I got you." yakap niya sa ulo ko as he drives. "This has helped me tons of times na, I really hope this would help you too."

Mayamaya pa, we came to a stop. Tumambad sakin ang isang basketball gym at ang scenerie ng dagat.

I walked to the shore and sat down. I promised to not cry too much anymore kasi pagod na ako. It was so painful. Every part of me aches. Meanwhile, the scene naman in front of me was so peaceful that it hugged every piece of me. While it does, it never promised to be easy kaya ayun. I felt the pain ng wound I thought was already healing and broke down.

"Why'd you have to leave?" gigil kong kapit sa buhangin ang cried so much.

"Tangina, sabi mo kasi hihintayin mo ako? Sabi mo okay lang tayo? Sabi mo mahal mo naman ako kahit di kita mahalin pabalik na katulad ng ginagawa mo, diba?" sigaw ko. "Saka ka nawala nung pareho na dapat tayo ng nararamdaman? Kahit goodbye, wala? Di ko ba deserve ng closure?!?!? Tapos ngayon, makikita kita! Parang di tayo nagkakilala ever? TAO KA BA HA!?" Hindi naman ako pinigilan ni Donny at Elliana. Elliana wanted to approach but Donny stopped him and let me continue.

"Pangako ko sa sarili ko, di ako iiyak sayo. Sabi ko, lulunukin ko lahat kasi soon, magiging okay lahat kahit makita kita, may bago man o wala.." Nagbabato ako ng buhangin at ng bato sa sa tubig ngayon, narerelease na yung adrenaline at lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

"Sabi mo, di ko deserve na umiyak at maiwan sa ere ng walang paalam. Cci iniwan mo ako nung mahal na kita tapos ano, ha?! Ganon nalang? Walang closure? Babe hindi ganun yun! Nasaan ka na?? Wala na!" iyak ko habang nagsisisigaw and nung napagod na ako don, umubob na ako and gave up. Donny approached along with Elliana and sat beside me sa shore na to na walang katao tao kundi kami lang.

"Balik ka na, mahal. Di na ako galit. Tayo nalang ulit. Ikaw nalang ulit, Cci." sambit ko ng mahina at humikbing muli, parang wala nang bukas.

Then and there, I cried my eyes out like a baby longing for her mother's care and affection again.

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short update just to finish this stage of Alex's life. thanks for reading! ❤